‘Escape’ and ‘Vijay Mallya’ have become synonymous in the past few days. ‘Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’ is taking all the ‘Space’, and Arnab has apparently been in ‘Caps Lock’ forever. With a few names being mentioned constantly across online platforms, we really wish if we had shortcuts for them on our keyboard. Lo, and behold. We did just that.
Check out our tongue-in-cheek attempt at redefining the keyboard.
Shudhh Desi Keyboard
Here’s the updated configuration:
• Esc: Vijay Mallya, for a quick escape out of all troubles, instead of hanging around for legal procedures.
• Volume Up: Arvind Kejriwal has been quite vocal about everyone’s ‘sarkaar’, ‘atyachaar’ and ‘bhrashtachaar’.
• Alphanumeric Keys: 1984, 2002 – Almost every online debate waters down to these two years. A BC, MC and XYZ follow.
• Caps Lock: Arnab Goswami. Need we say more?
• Home: Shahid Afridi, for feeling ‘at home’ in India, and getting backlash at home.
• Quote: Anupam Kher can speak, at any occasion, at any news channel to the extent of sounding repetitive. Kher, koi baat nahin.
• Return: Lalit Modi doesn’t plan to touch Indian shores any time soon, and that has everyone praying for his return. So will he, won’t he?
• ? (Question Mark): Indrani Mukherjea/Mukherjee/Mukerjee was involved in the Sheena Bora murder? How many husbands did Indrani have? Who’s Indrani’s driver’s third son’s girlfriend? So, so many questions, and no clear answers yet.
• Mute: Manmohan Singh. Well, this one’s a silent pun.
• @#&% (Miscellaneous Characters): KRK is our perfect choice for this. Have we ever seen something so miscellaneously miscellaneous that his whole life goes in miscellaneous trolling and abusing? #2RsPpl you all.
• $ (Paisa): Mukesh Ambani is the ever-present figure in the World’s Richest ranks, and boy, he spends too. Check Antilia.
• Del (Delete): Swami Om Jee, the free-spirited man from the Hindu Mahasabha wants to delete a lot of anti-nationals from India. To his credit, he has slapped a woman on live television debate and threatened an environmentalist on our camera.
• Shift: Priyanka Chopra & Deepika Padukone have shifted base to Hollywood for their big-banner productions starring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Vin Diesel, respectively. Bollywood, paused?
• Control: Narendra Modi, the person who’s required to keep control amid all these shifting and churning.
• Space: Sri Sri Ravi Shankar takes up a lot of space for his world-level sprawling festivals and ends up encroaching a lot more space. But then, manages to fit in, look calm and smile. That’s art of living.
Did you like this, or we pressed any wrong keys? Type in your feedback with your suggestions, on what else, but your keyboard.