Sun Tzu may have written The Art of War, but Mamata Didi can surely write the Art of Paaaaaawaar! With her latest headline-grabbing antics, here’s what we can learn from her about winning all high-stakes battles.
Dharna Mana Hai: Be Fearless
Move over ‘Gully Boys’, Didi is the original ‘Gully Girl’. Bole toh, this ‘street fighter’ knows when to go to the gullies to stage ‘dharnas’ and crush the opponent.
After all, she did it in 2006 and 2008, which ultimately threw the Left government out after 34 years of being in power in Bengal! This time too, the lady’s gotten up from her kursi, to stand up in the garmi and give even more garma garam bhashans against her opponents.
For effect, she has also called her dharna “Save Democracy”, and pegged it as one against the Centre. Uff! Didi is proof that when a mightier opponent throws crisis your way (read sends CBI officers to arrest your police commissioner), you use it as an opportunity to show them who’s the boss.
Now, Yogi ji may say that "nothing can be more shameful for a democracy than a chief minister sitting on a dharna”, but Didi knows that opponents ke saamney dharna, oops, darna, bilkul mana hai!
Attention Please: Escalate Matters
Let's be honest, before this news broke, no one cared about Rajeev Kumar or his arrest. But Didi turned a boring administrative tug-of-war into a goddamned political spectacle.
Adding to the drama, she used statements calling the issue a "constitutional breakdown", a jan andolan (mass movement) and not an individual fight". The result? In just two days, she went from being ‘Kolkata ki queen’ to ‘Mahagathbandan ki possible heroine’.
So guys, if you want to gain an upper hand against an opponent, please turn even minor altercations into something bigger... like, say, a ‘good-vs-evil’ battle, or maybe even the third world war! And when you win it, always claim not just a victory, but a ‘moral victory’. It just makes for better headlines.
LOL, Being Mocked? Let’s See Who Has the Last Laugh
Now, your opponents might call your actions a "disproportionate over-reaction", or Twitter may have a field day making jokes at your expense...
...But again, here’s one thing that Didi can teach us all – the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. Because, Didi just believes in 'having the last laugh'. We will be looking at you in 2019, Didi!
Get Your Friends to Support You
You see, you may be tough and all and willing to take on anyone all by yourself, but support from friends and ‘like-minded’ people doesn’t do any harm. Like Didi, you too can get your friends to join the fight with you.
Like Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu did, when he joined Mamata in her protest. He also said some flattering things about her, like how she is the main pillar of the Opposition, et al.
Similarly, even Rahul Gandhi tweeted in Didi’s support...
Because when you have high-powered ‘friends’, you can always count on them to support your cause.
Details? Who Cares? Spin it Like a Washing Machine
Scam to be investigated? Make it an issue about federalism. SC ka order hai? Make it a moral victory. Didi teaches you right. In life, as in politics, in order to be a winner, you need to know how to spin events like the spinning wheel of a washing machine.
To be sure though, there IS a legit scam that still NEEDS to be interrogated. Although, we can all debate about its timing. And the same SC order has been used to claim moral victory by both the state and the Centre. So, don't fret about the fine print or details that much. Focus on spinning it in a way that it goes viral.
After all, 2019 is here... and this is Sparta guys.
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