Sexolve is equal rights activist, Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on The Quint. It is also a part The Quint’s #MakeOutInIndia campaign, which is an effort to bring all taboo topics on sexuality out there – no beeping out, no brushing under, no cliches of the ‘land of Kama Sutra and Khajuraho’. Just an open celebration of all matters of sex.
If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationships, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you.
Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.
This week’s Q&As below:
Dear RainbowMan, I am a 25 year old boy. I like sex and I also like you. I want to become a sexual activist like you. How can I do it?
- Rahul (Naam toh suna hoga)
Dear Rahul (Naam sun sun ke pak gaya), there is no such thing as sexual activist. Although I’m fairly certain that activists are also sexual beings. I am an equal rights activist who also happens to be gay. I campaign for the rights of LGBT people. This does not make me specially sexual. I think you need to first calm down and let your hormones settle down. Then I recommend you spend some time trying to understand the difference between sex, gender and sexuality. Your sex can be male, female or other. Your gender can be masculine, feminine, queer or none. Your sexuality can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or pan sexual. Also I would recommend that you choose your own path in activism instead of trying to be like me or anybody else. No one can be like another, you can only be yourself, better and perfect with every challenge in life. Suffer no injustice, stand up for the right. Sometimes, when you stand up for something, you also stand against something. Remember to keep yourself focussed on what you stand for more than what you stand against. I like those activists, who believe in discussions rather than painting the opponent completely black. Like for instance, I can appreciate Baba Ramdev’s yoga and Patanjali products, even if I stand against his views. Got the drift?
Dear RainbowMan, I am an independent woman, employed with one of the biggest corporates. I am married to an equally independent and well to do family. Despite the education and upbringing of my mother-in-law, she is looking forward to fair male child. I am 4 months pregnant and am scared that she will kill my child if the child is dark or is a girl?
- Kamini Bahu vs Kameeni Saas
Dear Bahurani, please stop whatever you are doing and pack your bags now. And leave. Leave the house. LEAVE THE HOUSE. You are young, independent. As a parent, the security of the child is paramount. If you have chosen to bring a child to this world, you better stand up for the child first. Also, see if you can contact a local policeman or social worker and inform them about the potential threat to your child’s life. In case you think your in laws are ‘influential’, contact the cops after you have left your inlaw’s house. Keep a trusted friend informed. Have an informal conversation with your parents appraising them about the situation and find out if they will support you. If not, you and your child are safer away from them. I know you need to respect the old. But it is more important to respect behaviour over age.
Dear RainbowMan, I know you are an animal lover. I love animals too. I feel sexual with my dog. My dog is single and lonely. What should I do?
- Animal Lover
Dear Animal Lover, did I read that right? (Rubs Eyes). I know animals bring a lot of joy to our homes. I have two cat children. They are castrated boys. Yet, they do sometimes make the mating call. I empathise with them, so I allow them to mate with each other, without getting babuji ka sanskaar in the picture. You should not have sex with your dog (if that is what you are trying to say). You should not have sex with any other animal either. You should, if you want to, do it with another adult human with consent. As for your dog’s loneliness, well first neuter him/her and then if necessary, find them a mate. Seriously. Don’t have sex with your dog. Bestiality is both, gross and illegal!
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