I am so gay today ( literally and figuratively ), as I am no longer a criminal.
While I pen down my message, it’s my sincere request to everyone to share this message. I hope it reaches folks who are struggling within and also their families. Please do not hesitate in sharing. If you hesitate, I lose. We lose!
Sexuality is a part of your identity and not your identity.
Everyone takes their own time to accept themselves. Thereafter, it’s a journey of self awareness and owning your personality traits.
Two years ago, I lived a life which was not letting me live like a free bird. The duality in my mind was so strong that I was unsure of who I was. Then I started my journey of self-exploration through socialising with folks from the community and their life values and experiences helped me deal with this battle in my head.
I came out to my dearest friend Nikhil on his birthday and felt that I gain honest trust by telling my true story. My life changed at the very moment. It felt as if a butterfly was coming out of a cocoon. Soon I started coming out to those who had become my brothers in college and their response was heart-melting.
My parents live in a conservative surrounding and I didn’t want them to get hurt or be subjected to other people's taunts because of my sexuality. It hurt me to keep this within but I don’t want to act selfish, thus I took time.
It was the right thing to do, since with time I was able to gather the courage I needed to let them know about my lifestyle. Their reaction was not negative and I feel privileged. But the doubts were real in the lines of biological problems ( impotency, erectile dysfunction etc ) which the society claims to make a man less of man. They needed time and thus I waited to come out in public, in order to protect them.
Today as I entered my home mom and dad gave me a tight hug and said in their happy face “Congratulations son! Now it's legal” and I couldn't help but let out tears of joy (I’m getting this sudden tear burst even while writing this).
I learnt that my mother had started sensitising the folks around her. My Dad is a govt employee and this law was holding him back to fight for me, fearing the same fears that such laws create in the mind of our parents.
Today on this historic day 6/9 - what a damn day, brings back college memories of my obsession with the number 069 starting from the ID number which I got in college - my parents are so happy that my mother told me “Now go broadcast it” and “Acha hai abhi koi ladhki ka rishta leke nahi aayega.” (Good now we won’t get marriage proposals of girls for you).
She is my gem: from not knowing anything about LGBT to becoming a person sensitising people around her! I am proud of her.
Now the next step is awareness so that we live in harmony along with our fellow Indians. We still have a very long way to go to reach a state where we see same-sex marriage in India. I hope to see Queer folks not trying to fit into heteronormativity and cherishing what they really are.
We are not asking for sympathy but a safe and friendly place to live in harmony. Our lack of awareness, our assumptions, ignorance and phobias are killing our closeted friends. Let’s get to know about the LGBTQ community so that’s we don’t unintentionally be insensitive to our dear friends. Do share this if you think you learnt something and might help others in your feed.
I never wanted to spread gossip about my sexuality. Rather, I wanted to use it to sensitising folks I am across in my life journey and I am really really grateful to you.
Brodas from another Mother - love you all. You don’t know how lucky I feel having you guys in my life. You guys elevated my spirit when I came out to you and made me realise I am so much more than being your Gay friend. My community family hugs and kisses to you all. We have come a long way.
Special Note: Dear LGBTQ fellows, if you are facing any kind of challenge or need any guidance, please feel free to reach out to me. You have got only one life. Live it well. Play it well. Don't be afraid of anything or anyone.
In the course of coming out, I relate a little too much with this Quote from Sense 8 -
What you are trying to seek is a well-defined answer which is already what you are expecting to hear. But the answer is not that simple.
Now this is my quote:
Truth Gives you Power!
- the Flamboyant Hooman - Arnab Nandy ( I am still that fellow who will annoy you with his lame jokes)
“Now where is the party tonight ?”
(This piece has been editied for style.)
(This piece was originally published on Arnab Nandy's Facebook post, and has been republished with permission from the author. Arnab Nandy is a 25-year-old resident of Mumbai, who shifts between being a realistic pencil sketch artist, photographer and software engineer. )
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