My wish to invite Appa ji over to my place in Vrindavan remains a dream unfulfilled. She left us last night for her heavenly abode.
In the year 2004, I met her for the first time at her home in Kolkata.
I was training in Sangeet Research Academy when few of my scholar friends wanted to learn semi-classical music from Appa ji. But we couldn't garner the courage to approach her.
My friends convinced me that since I am from Lucknow, Appa Ji will not turn down my request.
So there we were, in her drawing room one day.
The two almirahs in her room were full of dolls. It was only later that we came to know that Appa ji was very fond of collecting dolls. It was probably her second love after music.
We gradually proceeded to the music room where she used to teach and waited for her to come. After a little while, Appa ji came in wearing a beautiful white saree, a diamond nosepin, long silky undyed hair, and a sweet smile on her face.
She entered the room and said:
Bitiya aaj khane mein kya banyaa hai?
What a sigh of relief! We had all been so scared.
And our conversations flowed thereafter.
Raat ko kya khaoge? Roti banane wali bai laga diya hai, na?Appa Ji asked.
I felt I was not talking to a legend, but my own grandmother. I could feel the warmth, the affection, and the love that Appa ji was overflowing with.
We were inspired by the grace and sophistication she carried herself with. Her benign voice was a lesson in itself.
I confessed our desires of training under her, and she immediately said:
Thik hai bacho, agle guruwar se aa jao.
And, that is how our training started.
However, everytime we had a class, the first 15-20 minutes would be spent only in discussing the day’s menu, and shared our problems with each other.
I also had the fortune of staying with her in Varanasi. We would have our training sessions in the morning, and would attend some programme or do other household chores in our spare time.
One day, we were cleaning Appa Ji’s cupboards. I saw that the bottom shelf of the almirahs had really nice sarees, so I went ahead and picked one. I couldn't dare to open it, though.
Appa ji came from behind and said “Bitiya, sachi zari ke saree hai, kholke dekhlo.”
It was indeed a really beautiful saree. She did have an amazing collection. She would always dress up gracefully and present herself with a lot of elegance.
In another incident, one morning, I came into the drawing room and saw Appa ji had left her hair open. It was a very rare sight because she would usually tie it up.
I kept looking at her in awe from one corner of the room. Appa ji chuckled, “Nazar mat lagana meri baalon ko.”
With a lot of loving memories I would just say Appa ji, you may not be present with us anymore, but you will always remain in our hearts.
(Aastha Goswami is a disciple of Thumri Queen Girija Devi)
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