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‘I Missed the Signs’: Mother of 11-Year-Old Boy Raped at School

“I missed the signs, his behavioural changes,” she says, angry that neither police nor the school are doing enough.

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The mother’s voice has been altered to protect the identity of the victim’s family.

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He told everything after my husband observed some changes in him.
Minor’s Mother

In a candid conversation with The Quint, the mother of a 11-year-old student who was raped by a member of his school staff for five years, reveals how she discovered the sexual abuse. She narrates the whole story, from how she found out that her child was sexually abused to the difficulty in managing the fallout.

On 20 October, the parents of the 11-year-old filed a complaint of sexual assault in Greater Noida. The FIR said that the boy had been sexually assaulted by a member of school staff for almost 5 years inside the school.

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“I missed the signs, his behavioural changes,” she says, angry that neither police nor the school are doing enough.
Photograph of accused Ashok Mishra who raped a 11-year-old boy for 5 years inside his school’s washroom.
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How did he express [the incident]?

He just said, ‘Uncle told me to bend down like this,’ he showed me. Then he [uncle] would do something, he doesn’t even know what it was. So he didn’t know what pleasure the man was getting.

How frequently was he abused?

He told me three times in a month, that’s from the back, but I don’t know how many times from the front because the man used to fondle him.

This had been happening for 5 years?

Yes. According to what he told me. If someone came in, he would run into the stall and tell him to put on his clothes.

Aren’t there ‘aayas’ in the toilet?

Aayas are there.

Then where were they?

I don’t understand.

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According to the mother, her son only revealed the truth after her and her husband questioned him for 2-3 hours.

Your son never tried to stop him?

He did not have the awareness that it was child abuse. He said sometimes the man called him, but he didn’t go. The man gained his confidence, he was playing with his private parts. He said, “Your parents will beat you and you will never come to school again”.

He never complained to anybody?

Nobody, nobody. It happened after lunch, fifth period, 12 o’clock every time. I asked the man when I met him, “Why did you choose my child?” He said, “Your son is very quiet, whatever I did, he never protested”.

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I Want School To Be Punished, She Says

The Police has registered a case under Sections 3 and 4 of Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, 2012. The perpetrator, Ashok, was arrested and put behind bars. But so far, no action has been taken against the school. According to the police, they are still looking into the school’s role.

Definitely, everybody knew about it, else how was the man going to the toilet, and no one saw it? That’s what I feel. I suspect the role of the principal, she knew it, still she was covering it up. The guilty should be held responsible, the school and the man. The school provided a safe place for him to commit this crime against my child.
Victim’s Mother

According to the mother, the School Principal has resigned. The Principal sent her a WhatsApp message saying that the accused was more powerful than she was, the mother said.

“I missed the signs, his behavioural changes,” she says, angry that neither police nor the school are doing enough.
The WhatsApp message the mother claims the school principal sent. 
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‘My Son Is In Shock’

The parents have now shifted the child to a different school, but that is hardly enough. His parents feel that he is traumatised and has become withdrawn.

He is angry, but he doesn’t show it. Sometimes if we don’t give him what he wants, he is like, hiding aggression. Slowly, slowly he is sharing everything. I am suspecting that the man made a video as well. I suspect child pornography. I told the cops, but they are not investigating.
Minor’s Mother

As far as safety is concerned, what precautions do you want the school to take?

We have told the school that one student should accompany him to the toilet. He shouldn’t go alone. I believe my son is in shock. Ever since he joined this new school, he hasn’t gone to the washroom.

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As a mother, she says she missed certain behavioural changes – like her son becoming more withdrawn, less playful and cheerful – that could have given her a clue much sooner. But at the same time, she is hopeful about the future.

Yes, I feel I missed the signs. I had blind faith in the school. I couldn’t imagine they’d be so careless as to let a man like Ashok roam freely. I hope that he will change and things will be okay. He told me, “Mama now you told me, so I know it is wrong. So I won’t let it happen again.”
Minor’s Mother

Cameraperson: Abhay Sharma
Video Editor: Purnendu Pritam

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