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In India, motherhood is still closely connected with childbirth. Many people believe that a woman becomes a mother only when she gives birth to a child. But I feel this is a very limited way of looking at motherhood. A mother is not made only by giving birth but also through love, care, patience, responsibility, and the everyday effort of raising a child.
Adoption gives us another beautiful way to understand motherhood. An adoptive mother may not have carried the child in her womb, but she carries the child in her heart and in her life. She feeds the child, protects the child, worries when the child is unwell, attends school meetings, celebrates small achievements, and thinks about the child’s future like any other mother.
Her motherhood is not less real. It grows every day through care, time, and commitment.
In recent years, adoption in India has slowly increased. According to CARA data, India recorded 4,515 adoptions in 2024-25. Out of these, 4,155 were domestic adoptions and 360 were inter-country adoptions. In the same year, more girls than boys were adopted, with 2,554 girls and 1,961 boys finding families. This shows that adoption is being accepted more than before.
At the same time, the numbers are still small for a country like India. We need more awareness, more openness, and more social acceptance around adoption.
One reason adoption is still questioned is the strong idea of lineage. Lineage means the family line that continues from one generation to another. In many Indian families, blood relation, surname, family name, property, rituals, and the idea of “carrying the family forward” are given a lot of importance. Because of this, some people still feel that only a biological child truly belongs to the family. This thinking makes adoption difficult for many parents and children.
But family is not made only by blood. Family is also made by love, care, trust, and belonging. A child becomes part of a family when the child is loved, raised, protected, and accepted. Daily care also creates family.
Many thinkers have helped us understand this in a better way.
David Schneider said that kinship is not only about blood; it is also about culture and meaning. Janet Carsten used the idea of “relatedness” to explain that family bonds are also created by living together, sharing food, memories, and everyday life.
Signe Howell spoke about “kinning”, which means that a person becomes family through love, acceptance, and social practice. These ideas help us see adoption in a more open and human way. Relationships are not only born. They are also built.
Feminist thinkers have also helped us rethink motherhood. Adrienne Rich explained that there is a difference between the real experience of being a mother and the expectations society places on mothers.
Nancy Chodorow showed that mothering is shaped by care, emotions, and social roles, not only by biology. In the Indian context, scholars like Leela Dube and Patricia Uberoi have written about family, kinship, gender, and the importance given to descent and family structure. Their work helps us understand why bloodline still matters so much in Indian society.
Even today, adoptive mothers often face uncomfortable questions. People may ask, “Will you be able to love the child in the same way?” or “Do you know the child’s background?”
Sometimes, adoption becomes a topic of gossip. Instead of supporting the family, people start judging them. This is where Erving Goffman’s idea of stigma becomes useful. Stigma happens when society treats someone as different or less accepted because they do not fit into what is seen as “normal.”
Adoptive mothers and adopted children should not have to face this kind of judgement.
Psychologists like John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth remind us that every child needs love, safety, trust, and emotional care. A strong parent-child bond is not created only by birth. It grows when a child feels safe, wanted, and loved.
Adoption does not make motherhood less real. It only shows that there is more than one way to become a mother. A mother is not made only in a hospital room. A mother is also made in bedtime stories, school meetings, meals cooked with love, hands held during fear, and support given every day.
Indian society is changing. Families are changing. Women’s choices are changing. Parenting is also changing. Now our idea of motherhood must also change.
If we truly respect motherhood, then we must respect every path through which a woman becomes a mother. Adoption is one such path, and it deserves equal acceptance.
(Dr Jyotika Teckchandani is an Assistant Professor at the Amity Institute of Social Sciences, Amity University ,Uttar Pradesh. Her areas of interest include Foreign Policy Analysis, Indian Politics, International Relations, Gender Studies and West Asian Politics, with a particular focus on Iran. This is an opinion piece, and the views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for the same.)