The Many Ways My Mom ‘Blackmails’ Me & Why I Couldn’t Do Without
We love our moms – and their ‘emotional blackmail’ is just part of the package.
We love our moms and we can’t do without them. Their sometimes harmless, sometimes kick-in-the-crotch blackmail strategies? Not so much.
Every Indian mom thinks she is the best you can ever have and proves it by comparing herself to your friends’ mom. So this Mothers’ Day we decided to list some of the most heard lines across our homes.
This is dedicated to all the moms who could teach the class on emotional blackmail…they don’t blink twice.
What do you mean, you’re going to do something “different” with your career?!?
I remember when I broke to her the news that I was going to pursue journalism. She was shocked that I wanted to give PTCs instead of wasting her savings on an MBA.
Everybody from Mr Jindal (my fathers’ boss) to Mahindra Aunty called.
When you tell her you have a party to attend on Friday night.
This is usually a problem for those of us who’re still in college or have just started working. After asking me whose party it is, the people on the guest list and if they’re into drugs, most moms decide this is not enough – and tend to negotiate through sheer manipulation.
(We’ve all spent our weekends compensating for their support.)
You’re getting old! Old enough to get married.
This is a classic in all Indian households and fails to be skipped. While some of my friends (male and female) got this line as early as 23, my mom waited till I was 27. Now that I’m 30 and still single, I hear it once a week.
If I’m lucky.
We want you to be “settled” before we retire.
In MOM world, all stars should align themselves into a divine sequence: I should fall in love with a guy (who she approves of), get over all my shit, get hitched and plan my family – conveniently just as she bids goodbye to 30 years of employment.
Umm, it’s not in my hands!
We’ve done a lot for you – can’t you do this much for us?
It appears, when the whole gamut of unconditional love fails to have an effect, it’s time to spell it out.
Be it a fit of anger or a few “handy” tears, mothers tend to use this line for anything. And I mean anything. It could be accompanying them on a trip to Vaishno Devi, not meeting your friend Bittoo, or giving up smoking.
What’s your mother’s favourite line of blackmail? Tell us in the comments’ section.
(Manavi Siddhanti is a writer based in Delhi who is currently hoping her mother doesn’t read this article.)
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