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Hey Jeans, Why Is It So Difficult to Find the Perfect You?

My genes are just not right for jeans.

Published
Life
3 min read
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Jeans maybe a staple in everyone’s wardrobe, but certainly not in mine!

Every time I think of jeans, images of a short, tuby me jog my memory. Thanks to my so very Indian genes – the pear shaped body and the generous deposits of fat around my posterior – showing maa ka generous laad pyaar. Beta, thoda sa ghee paranthe pe is good.”

Thanks to ODing on ghee and makhan, I dread wearing jeans!

Given an option not choice, I'd pick a salwar kameez over a pair of jeans any day.

“A pair of jeans is a must-have in your wardrobe,” is the unanimous advice given by fashionista.

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I would want to dismantle the reputation that a pair of jeans carry – of being simple, classic, and elegant.

For a woman, who struggles to push it up her derrière and still does not look close to being – simple, classic or elegant – it’s certainly not the sassiest thing to posses!

Which is why, I would like to head the jeans andolan!

They Accentuate My Curves.. Errr Fat Deposits

My genes are just not right for jeans.

By this, I don't mean the curves around my waist – I would have been mighty happy if that would happen – but unfortunately, it’s the bulges around my posterior and thighs.

Remember the time when a denim brand came up with 'Diva' jeans meant to complement your curves? Sadly, all that the jeans did was to make me more curvy, again from all the wrong angles.

Waistband Marks Don't Lie!

The moment of truth: Is my new pair of jeans going to be my BFF? The answer to this question lies when I sit down to enjoy a good meal.

But you know what? Jeans are all the same. They betray me with each bite I take of my food. The jeans not only become a pain in my arse but also a pain for my tummy.

And let me not get started with all the waistband marks that are tattooed around my belly. Loose fitting t-shirts will be your true dost. They’ll hide all your secrets.

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It's Nearly Impossible to Find a Good Fit!

My genes are just not right for jeans.

Oh gawd! Why is it so difficult to find that one perfect pair of jeans? Jinko pehn ke you can say, “Yes! This is the one.”

They'll be a bit too long if you’re an average height woman, a bit too baggy if you opt for a comfort fit, or a bit too skinny like the skinny fits that leave every bit of your leg showing like a silhouette. You don't need people to know what your problem areas are!

Pushing these jeans up your leg involves the rigours of sucking your stomach in while you button them up!

Ae jeans hai mushkil!

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(A freelance food blogger, Pranjali Bhonde Pethe aims at getting people and their favourite food closer through her blog moipalate. Email her at pranjali.bhonde@gmail.com or follow her on @moipalate.)

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