Forget the US Presidential Elections – the nastiest wars are fought in divorce.
The battle of Kapoor versus Kapur is heating up with allegations being traded like bombs between two warring nations. As Karisma alleges domestic violence and Sunjay paints her as a money grabbing witch, the lawyers go about doing their business and trumping up the charges to solidify the client’s case. After all, they have to ensure that their client wins.
Over 70 per cent of divorce cases in India are bitterly contested. What is it about divorce that brings out, not the best, but the beast in us?
Why Divorce is About Enemies at War
Divorce involves a great sense of betrayal with both parties seeking to teach each other a ‘lesson they’ll never forget’.
Each of the spouses comes out full guns blazing and no one wants to back down as that means the other side was right. The court becomes the place to seek vengeance for what went wrong in the marriage. Every slight and insult – imaginary or real – something as minor as a domestic squabble over food choices or a full blown physical fight – are all sought to be avenged in court.
And what if there are casualties? Even if they’re your own children, they become just a by-product of the divorce war.
Each order against the opposite side gives immense satisfaction as it’s deemed a victory. Which means, if the husband is ordered to pay interim maintenance it’s a minor victory for the wife and she can notch up one for her side.
How Lawyers Contribute to the Acrimony
Even the lawyers aren’t spared in long-drawn court battles. Clients are usually dissatisfied with lawyers and tend to change them – Karisma herself has been through her share of lawyers.
Lawyers also add to the acrimony in divorce – at times, by insisting that the client not settle. We tend to forget that after all, this is their livelihood (I’m a divorce lawyer too, so….enough said). They keep painting a rosier picture of, let’s say a better financial settlement or child custody and keep urging you to battle it out. Of course, this is done in subtle, insidious ways.
Besides, the law in India is not very pro-divorce – so at times even the acrimony has to be exaggerated to get a more favourable order/judgment for the client.
Of Emotional Rollercoasters
Emotions run high in a family court because at the end of the day there are people involved. It is not just a property case or mere possessions but people whose feelings have been hurt and dreams crushed and in those circumstances reason takes a backseat and emotions run the roost.
Were you looking at an amicable resolution? EGO spells the death knell for any such hope.
In essence, whatever you wanted to prove in marriage can now be done in court.
For instance, if your objection to your wife’s sense of dressing or her reluctance to integrate with the in-laws wasn’t heeded to in the marriage, it can now be brought about in the petition for divorce. You stand with firm expectations that the judge will deliver his decision in your favour and validate your beliefs. All the incompatibility in marriage is played out before a different audience, so whatever wasn’t right in the spouse and hence by extension, the marriage, is sought to be rectified in court.
In India we are so invested in marriages as the ultimate dream destination and the magic potion for ending all our troubles, that when divorce rears its ugly head it brings in its wake utter destruction.
And the chances of an amicable end? A bare minimum.
(Vandana is a lawyer by education, an author by passion and a sports buff by reflex. You can read more about her on her website www.vandanashah.com)
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