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IPL 2024: Ashutosh Sharma – A Battle with Depression & 'Policeman' Coaching

IPL 2024: You have seen Ashutosh Sharma's power, but have you heard about his battle with depression and loneliness?

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Success is dichotomous. It is capable of both concealing and revealing underlying truths.

Let us explore the latter aspect first.

Had it not been for his successful 17-ball 31-run knock against Gujarat Titans on 4 April, Punjab Kings batter Ashutosh Sharma might not have made tales of his struggles heard. Tales, of depression, of desolation, of ostracisation from a team he called his ‘home’, and, of abandonment.
IPL 2024: You have seen Ashutosh Sharma's power, but have you heard about his battle with depression and loneliness?
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Forced to Leave ‘Home’ After Scoring Three Fifties

With consecutive commendable knocks at the Indian Premier League (IPL) – the innings against Gujarat was followed by a 15-ball 33 against Sunrisers Hyderabad – Ashutosh Sharma has swiftly risen to prominence as the latest addition to the coveted 'finds of IPL' roster.

Yet, followers of the Indian domestic circuit had ‘found’ him four years ago, at the 2019/20 Syed Mushtaq Ali Trophy (SMAT), where Ashutosh had emerged as Madhya Pradesh’s second-highest run-scorer. He had scored 233 runs at an average of 165.24 – higher than anyone from his team, and had recorded three half-centuries – more than anyone else in his team.

In his last match, he struck a 51-ball 84 against Puducherry. And then, come next year, he was considered surplus to requirements.

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Recollecting the incident during a media interaction, Ashutosh says:

I played my last match for MP in 2019, where I scored 84 runs. Then a new coach came the next year, and for some reason, he always disliked me. I scored a 45-ball 90 in a selection match, but even then I was not selected in the SMAT squad. I went from scoring three half-centuries to just warming the benches.
Ashutosh Sharma

Notably, in March 2020, Madhya Pradesh had appointed a new coach in Chandrakant Pandit – among the Indian domestic circuit’s most decorated coaches, and the current coach of Kolkata Knight Riders. A couple of years later, Madhya Pradesh won their maiden Ranji Trophy title.

Albeit, a few players like Ashutosh had to search for new homes.

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A Duel with Depression

Elaborating how being dropped from the team resulted in depression, Ashutosh, who now plies his trade for Railways, further went on to say:

I slipped into depression during that phase. I could not even get a peek of the field – I would just train at the gym in the morning and return to my room. I was thrown out of the set-up for no reason at all, and no one gave me any explanation either. I was fortunate that I got a job at Railways and they have always been supportive, but I would not want to revisit my last two years at Madhya Pradesh. I could not sleep. I spent my nights thinking about why they had sidelined me from the team. That made me even more depressed.
Ashutosh Sharma
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How A Young Ashutosh Found a Mentor in Amay Khurasiya

Hailing from Ratlam, a city nestled in north-western Madhya Pradesh, Ashutosh had always been interested in cricket, except he could not find adequate infrastructure in his hometown. At 8, he went to the MPCA academy in Indore, to embark on a journey all by himself.

Reminiscing the initial stages of his career, Ashutosh responded to a query from The Quint:

It was a very difficult phase of my life. I had to stay all by myself at such a young age. I went through a lot of struggles. Khaane tak ke paise nahin hotey thhey (I didn’t even have the money for food). I did umpiring just so that I could buy myself meals. But fortunately, I met Amay sir at the MPCA academy, who helped me a lot.
Ashutosh Sharma
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The ‘Amay sir’ Ashutosh speaks about is Amay Khurasiya, former Indian cricketer and former coach of Madhya Pradesh, who was a part of the Mohammad Azharuddin-led Indian squad at the 1999 ICC Cricket World Cup.

Ashutosh further elaborates on the role Khusariya had to play in his career:

Amay sir has played an important role in my career. He is a master in batting, but it is not just about that. He has helped me a lot in my mental struggles as well. Before the IPL, he gave me confidence by saying he knew I would surely show my potential whenever I got a chance.
Ashutosh Sharma
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The Coach Who Chose Not to Destroy Natural Flair

When he first met Ashutosh, Khurasiya was working as the head coach of the MPCA academy. In a conversation with The Quint, he narrates his first impressions of the power-hitter:

My first impression of him was that he is a fearless stroke-player, who had a great fortitude for a player of his age. At just 12, he was handling 16-year-old bowlers, playing fine shots. This is a very rare trait.
Amay Khusariya, Former Indian Cricketer & Ashutosh Sharma's Coach

For all of his flamboyance, Ashutosh was far from an ‘orthodox’ cricketer, albeit Khurasiya says it never bothered him.

I did not want him to become a bookish cricketer. Ashutosh has a natural flair to his game, and I did not want to destroy that flair by teaching him cricketing manuals.
Amay Khusariya

When Ashutosh was exiled from the team, he had the support of his coach.

I told him to stay positive. I said that after every dark night, a bright sun appears on the horizon.
Amay Khusariya
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Spotlight on the Exodus of Madhya Pradesh Cricketers – From Gaurav Yadav to Kuldeep Sen

As it turns about, Ashutosh Sharma is not the only player who had left Madhya Pradesh in recent years. Joining him on the list are Kuldeep Sen – the Rajasthan Royals pacer who now represents Tamil Nadu, and Gaurav Yadav – now playing for Puducherry.

Khurasiya feels questions need to be asked about the exodus.

A lot of talented cricketers are leaving Madhya Pradesh. Kuldeep Sen left for Tamil Nadu. Gaurav Yadav left for Puducherry. It was when Gaurav left that people started discussing about the exodus, but there have been players from the junior level who have left the state as well. I will not point fingers at any particular individual, but when talented players keep moving out, questions need to be asked. When you are successful, a lot of things get buried under the carpet.
Amay Khusariya
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What Had Happened with Gaurav Yadav?

Among the departures, one that Khurasiya still considers baffling is that of Gaurav Yadav. Unlike Ashutosh, who never got a chance to play red-ball cricket for MP, Gaurav not only played red-ball cricket, but did so with distinction. He was MP’s second-highest wicket-taker with 23 scalps in the title-winning campaign of 2021/22, with six of his wickets coming in the final – including that of Mumbai’s skipper Prithvi Shaw, and the season’s leading run-scorer Sarfaraz Khan.

You can drop a player when he is not playing well, every coach would want to pick the best XI. But in Gaurav Yadav's case, he was the second-highest wicket-taker for Madhya Pradesh when we won the title. In the final, he picked up six wickets. And after doing all of this, suddenly he is out of favour. If Gaurav is not a good player, how did he pick 41 wickets for Puducherry in the last Ranji Trophy?
Amay Khusariya
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Gaurav had previously mentioned about being denied the chance of attending Chennai Super Kings’ trials. Speaking about it, Khurasiya says:

Gaurav was called for a trial by CSK, but he was not allowed to attend that. If as a coach you are not allowing a cricketer to play white-ball cricket, or attend franchise trials, and then you become a coach of one of those teams, that is hypocrisy.
Amay Khusariya

On Kuldeep Sen, who represents Rajasthan Royals in the IPL, he says:

Kuldeep is now playing for Tamil Nadu. Everyone knows that to play as a pacer for Tamil Nadu, you need to be very good. They will not take any random player from MP. If he is not a good player, why did Tamil Nadu select him?
Amay Khusariya
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‘A Coach Should Be a Friend, Not a Policeman,’ Feels Khurasiya

In the realm of cricket, especially within the Indian domestic circuit, disciplinarian coaches employing rigorous methodologies are not uncommon. Some of these coaches have earned trophies which validate their approaches and philosophies.

Khusariya, however, believes a coach should be a friend, not a ‘policeman’ with ‘authoritarian’ ways.

A player wants his coach to be a friend, not a policeman. There is no need to be an authoritarian. We need to respect cricketers who are 'differently' talented, because not everyone will be how you want them to be. Just like how a fish cannot be judged by its ability to climb a tree, you cannot judge a player based on your own specific parameters. The parameters of judgment should be whether the cricketer is a team player or not, whether he is committed or not, and whether he is sincere or not. If he is, let him have his glitches. Every player has his own way of living, you cannot simply impose your way on others.
Amay Khusariya
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‘But, what is the intention behind highlighting the issue?’ we asked.

Khusariya concludes by saying he does not want any fellow coach to be vilified, but for the exodus to be halted.

Nothing that I have said was borne out of jealousy with a fellow coach. I just want the exodus of Madhya Pradesh cricketers to stop. MPCA has invested on these cricketers since they were 14. Now when they leave the state after becoming established cricketers, it is a sad state of affairs.
Amay Khusariya

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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