So GST is finally here and I must say that PM Modi’s ‘Good and Simple Tax’ is actually very gay friendly… so much so that I propose renaming it Gay and Sexy Tax. Until GST came out I thought Modi, like Trump and Putin, was a pyaar ka dushman. But now I’m convinced that he’s a die-hard romantic who actually supports rainbow love! Let me explain why.
Under GST, the tax on movie tickets has gone up. This is Modi’s way of nudging us to change our dating style. He wants us to stay committed to our partners. So he has made it difficult for us to watch movies where we invariably end up spending more time ogling John Abraham or Riteish Deshmukh (hey, whatever floats your boat!).
Making movies expensive is Modi’s way of keeping gay romance sanskaari by encouraging us to pay more attention to our dates and having conversations. Kyunki pyaar toh do dilon ka milan hai. Here’s Chandrachud Singh telling us exactly how to make conversation on a rainy night.
Or maybe Modi just wants us to Netflix and chill at home. May I suggest you binge watch Orange Is The New Black, or every episode of every season of the queer bible called Queer As Folk, that you borrowed from your regular – Netflix and chill friend.
This is a win-win situation. This way we will not be able to spread our gayness to the common population by appearing in public and we can get cozy with bae and get as naughty as we want without the taanaas of this zaalim zamaana. So instead of complaining, let’s try to match up to SRK and the machchi wali aaji bai’s enthusiasm here-
Contrary to what Twitter will tell you, the tax on restaurants though has come down (from 28% to 18%). I’m not saying this because I’m a bhakt or something. It’s actually true. Earlier there were multiple layers of VAT that were added at each level of production of a commodity. Now, there’s just one tax on the final product. Just do the arithmetic and you’ll see for yourself. This means Modi understands that aate-daal ka bhaav (something our parents have always reminded us of rather rudely) plays an important role in our love lives. Also, bhookhe pet pyaar nahi hota. In fact, tax on five-star restaurants is lower than our favourite hole-in-the-wall joints. Perhaps Modi understands that we gay people like elite, upper crust luxury and Modi wants to encourage us to live it up! So the idea is to save money on movie tickets and blow it on romantic candle light dinners at posh restaurants. Nice move.
Also, there’s no GST on condoms and alcohol. Imagine being forced to stay indoors and cuddle up, and being incentivised for it with cheap condoms and booze. This government thinks of everything! This is the best monsoon gift anyone could have given us. Priyanka Chopra sums it best in this priceless number-
Now many of you must be thinking, how are any of the above incentives exclusively applicable to the gay community? Well, that’s what I have been saying for years… love is love. Tharo mharo same che… so go make the most of GST and the monsoon. Now, where’s my Grindr?
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