Now that India is settling down post-demonetisation, an important matter needs reiteration. Even though the queues have dwindled, withdrawing cash from an ATM, anywhere in India, is never a quick process as originally envisaged by the inventors of the machine. The singular purpose of cash dispensing at any given time has been defeated for a long time now.
As has happened in many other sectors, the marketing people have subverted the brilliance of the original crafters of the ATMs. The machines have turned into virtual call centres with never-ending auto-generated options that can test the patience of even the most innately unhurried individuals.
When the banks know you are at their ATM, they want to have you for good, like target-driven private hospitals with their interminable diagnostic tests aimed at generating humongous bills, proving to the patient’s family that their loved one is about to die horribly unless admitted to the ICU strung to a ventilator.
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The ATM mostly serves as a well-oiled mechanised sales force, fed to query any unsuspecting customer: Interested in a personal, car or home loan? If not banking with us, would you like to open an account? Avail attractive cash backs on our free debit card on offer for a limited period only; And do not miss out on our lifetime credit card that entitles you to free air and movie tickets.
What they conveniently leave out is that you will have to spend like Ambani to avail that one movie ticket. And you will have to spend more than Ambani to win the complimentary airfare. Cell phones can be disconnected, a persistent tele-caller blocked. But one simply cannot walk away from the ATM until the transaction is over or the debit card is returned from the slot.
The questions are compulsory, like it is with a driver’s licence application, with an infinite list of inquiries.
The marketing questions aside, ATMs have another standard list: Is this your favourite amount withdrawn? Would you like to make this your preferred amount? Please rate your experience of using our ATM?
‘Would you be using the facility again?’ ‘Do you want a printed receipt?’ In case the customer happens to tap ‘Yes’ to the queries mentioned above, the answer is almost inevitably: ‘Sorry, this facility is not available right now’.
Would you still like to proceed? Well, who would not like to finish the job after enduring for so long. Suspicious Indian personalities, in general, do not make the process of quick money vending easy. They count and re-count the cash, stare at notes, of big or small denomination, to figure out whether it is fake or not. And this is for mental satisfaction only as the majority do not know the difference. There are afterthoughts like re-checking account balance or mini statement to make sure that the correct deduction has been made.
Or, if they are lucky, maybe the money has not been subtracted. During summer, the process is deliberately prolonged – like dialling the bank call centre or speaking to a girlfriend or boyfriend as the case may be – to avail the free air conditioning within the ATM. Many reluctantly move out after those waiting fiercely bang the door from outside. However, the most frequent complaint spoken against ATM machines continue to be: ‘Under maintenance’, ‘out of order’ or ‘out of cash’.
There is a solution though. It might be a good idea to visit the bank branch for a change, somewhat like the good old days or more recently post the demonetisation bomb to encash a self-cheque. The operation could, maybe, turn out to be quicker.
(The author is an independent journalist and author with an interest in foreign and strategic affairs, security, politics, defense, energy, business and lifestyle issues. The views expressed above are the author’s own and The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for the same.)
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