Babies Post 30: These Moms Tell You Why They’ve Delayed Motherhood

From wanting to spend time with their partners to making more money, more women are choosing to delay motherhood.

Mugdha is 32. She has a 2-year-old daughter.

Seema is 35. She couldn't have been more delighted that she waited till last year before she started a family.

Ritika is 31. She too is a newbie mom. Valaya, Arohi, Shraddha, Sweta – comprise another bunch of moms in their 30s for whom age is just a number.

These women are defying convention to follow their heart, far before they embrace motherhood. Plus, they guarantee a much better lifestyle and education for their child.

For Mother’s Day, I spoke to a number of newbie moms who told us why it is better to have a baby while in your 30s than your 20s – and I couldn’t agree more.

Financial Independence

Working men and women in their 30s are far more financially independent than in their 20s. A survey conducted by Junior Achievement in 2013 – a group that teaches kids about money and jobs – found that 25% of teens think they won’t be able to support themselves until their mid-20s. Just 12% of teens surveyed said that they’d have to reach the 25-to 27-year-old age bracket before being able to pay all of their own bills, while others felt they would take much longer.

Seema Sohoni-Apte, who works for Apple in San Jose, says,

I had landed a new job in one of my dream companies (Apple) when I was 30 and I wanted to prove myself at work and be well settled financially, before I took a break for maternity. Women are pursuing ambitious careers no less than men today and would not want to stop at anything until they are mentally prepared to have a baby.

Sweta Rengaswamy feels that the whole process of having a child itself is so expensive – right from pregnancy to delivery, day care and school – that the 30's just seem like a better time to afford all that.

Coupling

The 21st century has been revolutionary not only in terms of women opting to be moms in their 30s but also couples deciding to get married in their late 20s.

For me personally, it was a decision my husband and I took together. We got married when I was 29 and there was definitely social pressure to start a family, but we refused to have a child till we were ready. We wanted to be sure that our relationship was rock solid. Now having a baby has made our bond stronger.

Shweta Chaugule Bhanushali

Aarohi AY, an interior designer and pet baker, admits that couples these days marry late and it's very important for them to know and spend quality time with each other before they have a child:

Having a child shifts focus from the couple as you are channelling your time and energy towards the baby, leaving little or no time for each other. There’s no time to travel or even unwind after a hectic day at work.

Sohoni-Apte feels she was more aware of herself at 30 than she was at 20 and that helped.

A lot of people told me that pregnancy is complicated in your 30s, but for me it was a piece of cake. I exercised and ate healthy. That’s why I only put on a bare minimum pounds of 22 pounds when the range is 25 to 35 lbs. I think in your 30s you are wise enough to challenge and question the myths and follow something which is more logical and suitable for you.

Making That Travel List Count

A lot of women I know are great travel enthusiasts who didn’t want the responsibility of motherhood before they felt they’d ticked off certain spots on their bucket list. It wasn’t as though they couldn’t travel after a baby, but they often tell me how many a destination gets singled out because of the baby. They’ve found solo travel time harder to come by, and realised they couldn’t exactly fly off to countries that were too hot or too cold.

We would take a vacation every 6 months before we had Vivaan. We travelled to Singapore, Thailand, Goa, etc. Now our travel has substantially reduced. We haven’t travelled anywhere in the last two years.

Valaya Khanse Joshi

Another newbie mom Shweta Chaugule Bhanushali thrives on her adrenaline rush.

I’d made up my mind since I was a teenager that I wanted to cover the whole gamut of adventure sports – sky diving, bungee jumping, scuba diving – before I planned a child. I couldn’t have been happier than when I skydived in Atlanta and scuba dived in Sri Lanka.

That Time to Pursue Your Hobby

Your early 20s are spent pursuing an education and running after a career – which leaves you with very little time to pursue your hobby.

Says Mugdha Naik:

I love dancing but never really got time as I spent my early 20s taking care of my education. Engineering and then MBA leaves you with little time to pursue your hobby. After my MBA I explored zumba and other dance forms like belly dance and I realised how much I loved them. When my daughter Anika turned one, I got myself certified as a zumba instructor. Now, after she’s turned two, I have started my own zumba classes. This would not have been possible if I had had a baby in my 20s.

(A freelance food and fashion blogger, Pranjali Bhonde Pethe aims at getting people and their favourite food and style closer through her blog moipalate. Email her at [e-mail] and follow her on @moipalate.)