You probably remember Sapna Moti Bhavnani as the outspoken, pixie-haired celebrity contestant on reality TV show Bigg Boss a couple of seasons ago. The celebrity hairstylist stood out among the crop for calling a spade a spade, never shying away from doing so.
Two years on – since she catapulted to small screen stardom - not much has changed. At least Sapna hasn’t. In an incredibly powerful and poignant post on Humans of Bombay’s Facebook page, Sapna speaks of how she was gangraped at 24 and why it has taken her 20 years to tell her story.
When I was 14, I used to talk to boys; drive motor cycles, smoke cigarettes and people in Bandra would often call me a whore because of those things. I never understood the term back then, but sure if doing all those things made me a whore-- I’d take it gladly. After my father’s death, I moved to Chicago where there were so many like me and it gave me the freedom to get inked, experiment with my hair and just be myself.
One Christmas Eve in Chicago, I walked out of a bar alone late at night in a short dress and red lipstick. I was 24 and had been drinking, when from a dumpster a group of guys walked upto me and put a gun to my head asking me to give them blow jobs, eventually leading to gang rape. I remember walking home, showering and pushing this incident to the back of my mind for years and never letting it break my spirit – I still wear short dresses and the brightest red on my lips.
In years to come, I got married to my high school sweetheart, faced domestic violence and walked out of the marriage wondering how this could happen to ME, a feminist? It’s because sometimes there are things that are beyond your control. We live in a world where everyone stresses the importance of voicing yourself or walking out of tough situations, but I just want to say this— no one wants to be beaten up, get raped or sell their bodies.
It took me 20 years to voice my incident, but for me a woman keeping it all within her because she has no other choice isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a mark of strength and something we need to start respecting.
Sapna’s bravery has already started earning her plaudits on social media sites like Twitter and Facebook – with netizens saluting her spirit.
What was particularly touching was that Sapna took time out to respond to almost each and every one – many who spoke of how they had gone through such horrors themselves.
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