First things first. Let’s observe a moment’s silence in remembrance of all those who died waiting for Singh is Bliing to end.
Let me tell you straight away that I understand mindless. I understand silly and masala and crowd pleasing. I cannot, however, understand Singh is Bliing. What could it be? If you can’t dazzle them with your bling then baffle them with bull*%#$?
Barring the “Tung Tung” song at the beginning, and the “Singh and Kaur” number at the end, everything in the middle is a big blur.
Raftaar Singh, the hero of our film, is a fully grown, able-bodied man who is bafflingly childish all the time. Raftaar’s (Akshay) father (played by Yuvraj Singh’s dad Yograj) gets annoyed with him and sends him to Goa to live with his friend.
We are then taken to Romania. Bless them for spelling it out clearly because there is little of the Romanian landscape that we see. Just a huge mansion where ferocious men of Indian origin are talking about supplying illegal arms.
A petite, horse-riding Amy Jackson is sent off to Goa, where she intends to look for her mother. No prizes for guessing where she ends up staying. It’s the tired, old they-fall-in-love-but-she-doesn’t-know-Hindi-and-he-doesn’t-know-English cliché. Enter Lara Dutta in ridiculous clothes, in a “never should have comeback.” A handful of jokes later, the film is still going nowhere.
The film has sequence after sequence of Amy punching guys with the same expression on her face. She punches and Raftaar watches. Story stuck. Then Kay Kay Menon sends his goons to kill her but they’ve booked themselves an appointment with Amy’s Fatal Fists.
Akshay Kumar wants a big hit. Akshay Kumar fans want that too. And if you are one of them, then my humble suggestion is that you stay away from this one. It’s a must avoid for all Akshay fans, unless you want to see your favourite star in an atrocious, infantile role. He still looks great on screen, fights like a dream, has a goofy sense of humour but this film is bad. Really bad! The one person he should severe all ties with? Director of the movie Prabhu Deva!
I will give Singh is Bliing HALF a QUINT OUT OF 5 and send out a little prayer for Akshay. May good sense prevail.