For the entire two hours twenty minutes of Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety, all I tried to do was figure out why Sweety must be hated. I can’t be blamed, because the movie doesn’t make much sense if you don’t “naturally” hate Sweety. To all those who had the good sense to not spend money on the movie, I’d say, ‘don’t even think about it’. The film oozes out so much misogyny that they’ll probably play it as a therapy video at a woman-haters’ support group.
Sonu and Titu are #bros4lyf who have lived in the same house, grown up together and shared all their shenanigans. The movie begins with Sonu giving Titu a long lecture about how his girlfriend has taken over everything – from his clothes to his toothpaste – and how Titu must not get married just to “fulfill his needs”. This in spite of Titu repeatedly saying that he’s not marrying for sex.
Anyhow, Sonu has his way and Titu breaks up with his girlfriend of TWO years. Soon after that (read 6 months), Titu’s parents get an amazing rishta, from an “agency”, of a Delhi girl called Sweety.
Titu is head over heels for her from the word go, but Sonu (the thekedaar of Titu’s love life) thinks daal mein kuch kaala hai (something isn’t right). What motivates him to think this way?
Well, in his words: “Itni acchi toh nahi ho sakti!”
Thus Sonu, with no regard for the couple’s privacy, makes it his life’s mission to somehow prove that Sweety is a bitch.
Mind you, this is absolutely without any provocation from Sweety, who minus her nautanki, has quite a boss personality. She's smart, beautiful, resourceful and quickly wins over the entire family.
She lives up to all of Sonu’s ‘challenges’, which frustrates him very much. So, of course he does what one must do when a woman outsmarts them – question her morality and character.
Therefore, one of Sonu’s many tactics, is to dig up Sweety’s past details from this “agency” and announce to Titu’s huge Punjabi family that she had broken off a previous engagement.
Mummyji dramatically asks, “Tumne bataya kyun nahi?” when Sweety with a tear drop balanced carefully on her lower lash is forced to talk about her ex-fiance’s violent sexual behavior in a room full of overbearing men and women. FYI, Titu knew about her past all along.
She wins that battle too but God forbid, had she actually broken off an engagement just because she WANTED to, she would have been screwed. Because random-matchmaking-agency-which-gives-out-personal-information-to-random-people is more important than a woman’s agency.
Sonu does, however, manage to convince all the men in the family that Sweety is up to no good. Again, without any reason or evidence. In fact, all that Titu’s father needed to be convinced of Sweety’s “doglapan” was the fact that her father merely suggested going dutch on the wedding costs.
“Pehle hi meeting mein dutch jaane ki baat kaun karta hai?”, he asks
Because the girl’s family must bear all the costs of a lavish wedding, right?
All of Sonu’s shak finally becomes sach when, right before the interval, Sweety says, “Tumhe lagta hai main chalu hoon? Hoon main chalu”.
That was ALL of Luv Ranjan’s premise for Sweety to be hated. The fact that she was chalu.
There was no context given as to why she was chalu, what her back story was, what motivated her to be chalu – Nothing.
To be fair, she does say she would like to kick Sonu out of Titu’s life, but hey, Sonu had been nothing but a jerk to her since day 1! She doesn’t need to be a bad person to hate him.
He’s an obnoxious, controlling, woman-hating freakshow, who can, in fact, be hated quite easily.
Note to men: No woman has to or should be expected to please your entire khandaan to impress you. Also, no woman likes an overbearing friend who hates her just because she’s a kickass woman.
Finally, when Sonu fails in all his ways to ‘logically’ prove that Sweety is a demon in a pretty red lehenga, he just turns up on shaadi day and says (paraphrased):
Titu bro, bros before hoes, man! I expect you to know that I’d never wish ill for you.
He then stages a walkout.
Titu, quite conveniently, tells Sweety that even though he has had NO REASON to have any problems with her, he shall listen to his brother-from-another-mother and dump her at the mandap.
What is especially infuriating all through Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety is the toxic “bro” culture that has been used to justify unprovoked misogyny.
Not that misogyny can ever be provoked, but it is funny how an entire film can revolve around hating an individual without supplying any reasons as to why that individual must be hated.
Ranjan thinks that it’s okay to hate women for being good at everything, when Bollywood (or any other form of mass entertainment, actually) is ridden with glorified male characters who are too good to be true.
Friendship has been shown as this all-pervasive institution which gives one the right to infringe upon the privacy of a couple in a relationship.
Sadly, men who’ve watched the movie have come up to me and said, “I wish I had a friend like Sonu”. And that’s exactly why this movie is dangerous.
No, please don’t wish that!
Sonu thinks it’s okay to barge in on his friend’s alone-time with his girlfriend. He thinks it’s okay to third-wheel on their Europe trip just to prove that she is no good. He harasses your girlfriend just for coming into your life. No one should have a friend like Sonu! Harassing a woman for being herself should not be normalised.
The movie feeds into the patriarchal culture that dictates that women are always conniving and the men, while of course using women for sex, should have their own echo chamber to ‘’save themselves’’ from these women. Men can be trusted. Women cannot. Men are simple. Women are “crooked”.
Is this the MOST sexist Bollywood movie ever? Probably not.
But in a world where women are attacked for being too fast, too slow, too ugly, too beautiful, too domestic, too ambitious and too everything, do we really need a Sonu Ke Titu Ki Sweety?
I think, not.
Here’s me, signing off, hoping that I never date men who have a Sonu in their lives.
#DontBeASonu
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