The latest to drop on Zee5 is Ghoomketu. Written and directed by Pushpendra Nath Misra (who directed the lovely Taj Mahal 1989) it has Nawazuddin Siddiqui in the lead along with an extensive ensemble cast and a bevy of cameos by stars.Ghoomketu was shot back in 2014 but due to financial troubles the release date kept getting postponed. Initially slated for a release in 2018, it was only after the nationwide lockdown due to Covid-19 that the film has finally managed to hustle up an online outing.The dated feel aside, there seems to be something terribly off and incomplete about this film where Nawazuddin Siddiqui plays the eponymous character who runs away from his hometown Mahona to make it as a writer in Bollywood. His father played by the ever-dependable Raghubir Yadav is always angry, in fact he screams his top off in nearly every scene and by the end of it Yadav seems as flabbergasted as we are by his character’s rather inexplicable extreme trait. Santo Bua, played by Ila Arun is the only one in the family who encourages Ghoomketu to pursue his dreams, coaxing him to use stories and people from his real life to spin a tale of wonder. Ila Arun is so fabulous even in the half baked plot here that one feels bad for her.Click on the player below for the full podcast.A local Gudgudi magazine editor played by Brijendra Kala gifts Ghoomketu a book on how to be a Bollywood writer in 30 days. There is everything from drama to sci-fi to even a romantic film called DDDJ - Dilwale Dulhania De Jayenge with Ranveer Singh and Sonakshi Sinha spoofing the iconic train sequence from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. Deepika Amin makes an appearance in a handful of scenes, so does Swanand Kirkire and filmmaker Anurag Kashyap also shows up as a corrupt cop - all amounting to a naught.‘Paatal Lok’s Gritty Narrative Misses by a WhiskerIt is ironic that while Ghoomketu on screen tries his best to regale Bollywood filmmakers with his stories, the film Ghoomketu tries the same with us and fails miserably. Neither Chitrangada Singh nor a forgettable item number by Lauren Gottlieb or even a cameo by Amitabh Bachchan can save it from being a total lacklustre and bland affair.Nawaz’s Wife Aaliya Joins Twitter, Quashes Affair RumoursOne of the most offensive tracks in the film is about Ghoomketu’s wife Janaki, who he marries in a saamuhik shaadi samaroh. He body shames her for being fat, refuses to even see her face and treats her shabbily. When he comes back after his Bollywood rendezvous there she is still in ghoonghat and a visibly lithe frame. It’s only then that he asks her to show him her face and that’s when we get to see actress Ragini Khanna. The crass body shaming and the absurd relationship between the couple hardly add value to the film.Late actor Razak Khan appears in a couple of scenes that stand out sadly because of the abrupt and patchy editing. Ghoomketu for whatever reasons did not manage a release for quite sometime and now that it is up for public viewing, we realise one is better off without it. Except for the Jasleen Royal’s Bird Song nothing holds us and even the song is a complete misfit in such a disoriented and unfunny film.Rating: 1/2 Quint out of 5 We'll get through this! Meanwhile, here's all you need to know about the Coronavirus outbreak to keep yourself safe, informed, and updated. The Quint is now available on Telegram & WhatsApp too, Click here to join.