That Salman Khan films are larger than life with very little emphasis on believability is a given. And that storytelling can easily be compromised for want of hoots and whistles from the audiences in his films is also a tradition of sorts. But in the star’s latest offering, Bharat, director Ali Abbas Zafar writes in sequences that could actually qualify as ridiculous and, at times, cringe-worthy.
Apart from the obvious CGI mishaps in creating Salman’s younger avatar, here are the film’s top WTF moments.
1. Disha Patani and the Circus
The post-independence portion placed in the 1960s has Salman Khan working in a circus as a bike rider in the now extinct maut ka kua and his love interest Disha Patani is a trapeze artist.
The depiction of this period section makes Kalank look like a masterpiece. Did women wear these kind of skimpy outfits and saris showing off their entire midriff in those times? I don’t think so. Authenticity and loyalty to the times be damned, a Bhai film needs its dose of glamour and dance numbers that connect to contemporary audiences, doesn’t it?
Add to that lyrics like ‘slow motion’, ‘setting’, ‘ promotion’ and dialogues like tu mera load mat le. Perhaps in a back-to-the-future kind of scenario, Salman and Disha travelled back in time from the future to add these words and phrases to the common man’s vocabulary.
2. A 70-year-old Action Hero!
Picture this: 70-year-old Salman 'Bharat' Khan is walking down the street at night. He gets attacked by four armed bikers. He punches, kicks and ducks like a pro. He doesn’t even have a swollen muscle or post-fight backache.
Salman’s version of a 70-year-old man is a grey beard and baritone voice, but its still someone who has barely any wrinkles and walks around with biceps and swag in place. Abhi to Bhai jawaan hai!
The thing is we never see his character do any kind of training or workouts to make the fact that he is fit enough to kick some ass at this age close to believable.
3. Sonali Kulkarni as Salman’s Mother?!
Are we still stuck in the 1980s and ‘90s when actresses younger or almost the same age as heroes like Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman and many other stars, played the role of their mother? Unfortunately, yes.
Every time Salman called Sonali Kulkarni (who is younger than Salman by a decade) ‘Maa’ I slouched a little deeper into my seat because she clearly looked a lot younger than him. Even with all the white hair and make-up! And we thought mainstream cinema had transformed.
4. The ‘Kaccha’ Scene
So Salman, Sunil Grover and gang have to strip down completely to weigh themselves during a fitness test for a job. “Madam Sir” Katrina is the only woman in the room, sitting on the other side of a curtain. Sunil’s kaccha gets blown to the other side of the curtain and looks are exchanged between various characters. Katrina finally has to switch on the fan on her side so the kaccha can fly back to Sunil.
On paper this could have been funny, but the scene overstays it’s welcome in length, going from humorous to just silly.
5. Somalian Pirates and Big B’s Dance Moves
After his adventures in circus and mining, Salman turns to merchant navy. This portion is the most unnecessary and irrelevant one in the film. The ship he’s working on gets attacked by Somalian pirates. A very serious scene where a young girl and her family are held hostage is set up. And then Salman goes into appealing to the pirates to let them go unharmed by appealing to their skin colour and respect for Nelson Mandela.
And just like that the pirate mentions Amitabh Bachchan and that he is a favourite among Africans. And then he even begins to dance to Apni To Jaise Taise from Laawaris, and man his dance moves were impressive. He not only leaves everyone unharmed, but also returns the stolen money. So totally believable, right?
6. National Anthem Out of Nowhere
Ali Abbas Zafar induces Bharat with tons of patriotism. His leading man, Bharat, stands for the resilient and heroic spirit of the country. So the director decides to get the audience fully involved emotionally by putting in the national anthem and appealing to the patriot in them right in the middle of the film.
Apart from being manipulative, the sequence also comes out of nowhere.
Salman and his group get rejected during the fitness test for a mining job. And Salman begins appealing to the patriot in the officer by giving a speech about being Indian and bringing dollars back into the country, and then breaks into the national anthem. Well, when you don’t get hired, try giving a speech or singing the national anthem.
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