Filmmaker Karan Johar has depicted love in many ways through his films, but somehow the warm fuzzy feeling has escaped him in reality. From being all about ‘loving your parents’ in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, to living with infidelity in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, and now showcasing unrequited love in his upcoming film Ae Dil Hai Muskil, it’s interesting to see how he adapts the emotion. But what’s more interesting is to know what Karan thinks about being single and not having found ‘the one’.
At a recent Q&A session with journalists and fans organised by The Indian Express, the filmmaker spoke his heart out about his lonely moments, marriage, old school love and why he’s stopped looking for it altogether.
Friendship vs Love
Friendships have always defined my existence as a human being. Love has always been something that’s been in and out, turbulent mostly, one-sided a lot, and thematically my next film deals with unrequited love, which I believe is part of everyone’s life story. Friendship has always been solid, and I think when sex doesn’t become part of a dynamic, there is lesser of a burden on the relationship and I think it just lasts longer. So for me, friendship has always been something that’s life long and love is something that can come as a large big burst in your life and leaves you as well, leave you shattered and broken and completely in a dark zone.Karan Johar, Filmmaker-producer
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Marriage & Infidelity
I feel that my mother has never been able to get over the death of my father. She lost him 12 years ago. There’s not a single day that she doesn’t stare at his photograph and talk to him. She lost her parents very young, that loss is also very deep. But nothing can replace that true love that you can last right through with your spouse. But you have to fight that mid zone in your marriage. That’s the tough part.Karan Johar
You know when you’re single for too long, you surround yourself with too many married people and their problems, and it’s really tiresome. Infidelity is no longer something that is brushed under the carpet and spoken about behind closed doors. Now, at a party, I can stare at the husband, while the wife is saying things about her personal life to me, and vice versa. And it’s no longer fun. So I think I’ve just become a lot more cynical about the idea of good old fashioned loving.Karan Johar
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Breaking The Stereotypes Of Love
When I attempted Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna in 2006, I didn’t realise that I would open this pandora’s box with it. I didn’t realise that people actually put you in a box yourself. So they think I’m the person who made Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and it’s all about loving your parents. And from there it became all about leaving your wife, making absolutely no sense.Karan Johar
People in their sixties can be horny, they can be sexy, can be whatever they want to be. Why is it that in our country, sex appeal is only restricted to people who can show off their six pack abs and have gym trained bodies? You can be 60 and 70 and still feel immensely sexual. There’s no problem.Karan Johar
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Where Does One Find Love?
I channel most of my personal life into my work. I don’t have a personal life, I’m not in a relationship, I have not been in one for several years. I think that the extra eight hours of the day, that you would actually give to your lover, your spouse, your child, I give to my company. I just haven’t found ‘it’. Everyone says go out there, look out there. I don’t know what that ‘there’ is, where is this ‘there’...this amazing place called ‘there’ where you can find love, relationships, sex, whatever you want to. I’m done with that. Then they ask me ‘but you travel?’...as if once you take a flight, you can fall right into love with anyone, or land up into bed with anyone. It doesn’t work like that. Sometimes you just don’t find love in the right places, and sometimes it just comes unannounced and sweeps you off your feet, but that’s rare.Karan Johar
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I’m done with looking. I feel like I’m amazing, I should be in a relationship. I’m just like oh my god, why am I single? I have so many amazing things to share and be. I would imagine that I would be in an amazing love relationship which would be stormy and romantic and full of drama and all these things I show vicariously in my cinema, but it doesn’t happen. I haven’t found it. For some reason it has always always stayed away from me. There’s no explanation and it does take you to a dark gloomy place. There are many lonely nights, many lonely evenings.Karan Johar
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No matter how much we kind of crib about our spouse, our relationships, our friendships, but actually they kind of tide us through some really stormy nights. And when you don’t have that, you know that your parent is always there, but you don’t sometimes just want your parent. You want that love to kind of comfort you and go on a movie date with.Karan Johar
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I don’t have that one person I ever call, I think about that a lot. Depending on the situation, there’s a combination of people I would call. I don’t have that one 3 am friend, I have many. But I don’t have that I person I would turn to.Karan Johar
(Source: Indian Express)
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