Months after battling the unsavoury tag of the world’s “rape-capital”, India is fast gaining another – that of the world’s “stalking capital”. Delhi, Chennai, Mumbai – no city seems safe, and no woman goes unpunished. After all, if a woman gets stalked, harassed or molested, she must have done something, right? Dressed provocatively, been out late at night, or led the attacker on in some way?
Or so India’s self-appointed protectors of morals would have you believe.The very act of existing as a woman in India is fraught with danger. Forget equal rights, or achieving liberation – just being allowed to live, free from lecherous eyes and groping hands is a distant dream for most.
The Normalisation of Stalking
Having the audacity to spurn a man’s advances seems to be one of the many, many things women in India are not supposed to do. Who cares whether the man in question is a criminal, a goon or just plain unwanted? Who cares, as long as it’s a man. For, to be a woman in India, and to spurn a man is a grave crime. A crime for which no woman goes unpunished. Be it Bangalore’s Pallavi, Delhi’s Karuna or Chennai’s Swathi – they did not give in to the unsavoury advances of their stalker, and paid the price.
Karuna Kumar, a 21-year-old teacher at Novel Riches School, was stabbed to death in broad daylight by 34-year old Surender Singh who had been stalking her for over a year. Her crime? Ignoring him.
Why is it that crimes against women seem to be daily, even hourly occurrences? Is the judicial system to blame? Is it the police, or our laws?
Perhaps the answer lies closer home. Ask any man on the street if he found anything untoward about Govinda’s behaviour in the movie Haseena Maan Jaayegi? Or that of Salman Khan in his myriad films? You’d be surprised by their answers. Or maybe not, depending on how deeply stalking culture is ingrained in your head.
Following a woman around, hounding her with calls and texts – even kidnapping her at times – seems to be number one on India’s “Top Ten Ways To Woo A Girl”. Most regular folks find nothing amiss in a woman being followed, pestered and teased, all in the name of “romance”. Kidnapping is normal; stalking, an everyday occurrence. After all, that’s how Bollywood does it! The woman yells, protests, blushes and then softens. If it happens in movies, it must be right, mustn’t it?
And so, millions of young men go on believing that stalking is “romantic”, as opposed to threatening, and continue to hound women.
Are our movies to blame? Perhaps. But then art imitates life, and the culture of a place dictates, to a large extent, the kind of movies, TV shows and YouTube videos that are served up. If Bollywood normalises stalking, it is because India condones it.
Before the Laws, a Change in Mindset
How many men believe that a little light stalking is harmless and fun? How many women consider keeping it under wraps their only option – scared that reporting it could lead to their very characters being questioned?
Most of them, if you believe in statistics.
The problem doesn’t lie in the movies – it lies in the misogynistic, sexist culture that has pervaded India for years. “A woman’s place is in the kitchen”, “Women are fundamentally inferior to men”, “No decent woman steps out of her home to work”, “A woman’s character is determined by the length of her attire” – you’d be surprised at how prevalent notions like these are.
We’re the stalker capital because we condone stalking, NOT because of chowmein or cellphones.
Sure, we need stricter laws, but we also need a change in mindsets. With most stalking victims being encouraged to keep it to themselves, for fear of “loss of honour”, unsavoury judgments and more hounding, stalkers continue to stalk unchecked. They are secure in the knowledge that they won’t be reported, because in India, a woman’s “reputation” counts for far more than actual criminal activities. They know that if they do get reported, misogynistic attitudes will discourage their victims and prevent them from taking further action. And, if at all they are booked, a nominal bribe will win them freedom.
With attitudes like these, is it any wonder that India is considered the worst place for a girl child to be born?
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