After Gurugram, Haryana Should Consider Changing These Names Too

Dear Haryana, please consider these suggestions. The Gurugrammers need it.

Haryana should just get going with these new names. (Photo: Aaqib Raza Khan/The Quint)

Gurgaon has been renamed Gurugram. Though the name sounds similar to Instagram, the Haryana government says the rechristening reflects the original, mythological identity of the place. Well, then we have a few suggestions to reflect the other realities of the state. And of course, in the same league, Gurugrammers.

Gurugram

The Photogenic Haryana

Gurugram has been renamed for perhaps being an ‘Instagram’ friendly part of the state. Glass-lined buildings, rapid metros and faster urbanisation. This is the photogenic part of Haryana.

Derailways

Na tau se, na tout se. Ticket milega shout se.

If you feel your life is not on track, you can protest on one, and seek reservation. Just don’t say ‘General’. All the quotas are ‘Jat’kal. The state railway should seriously consider the name.

JiMale

Oh, yes to men. Sex ratio? Duh!

You’ve got ‘male’ – that’s not just a regular notification. In Haryana, it’s much sought-after news. With a highly skewed sex ratio, Haryana needs women. It’s ‘Her-yana’ right?

JaTinder

Take a puff. Swipe right.

Hook-ups may be looked down upon, but Hookahs are heavily puffed on in this state. All those mini-meetings at crossroads, of men with salt-n-pepper hair, taking swipes at each other. The perfect meeting place? Swipe right then.

The ‘Last Scene’ experts.

Online? They never toe the line. Khap Panchayats in Haryana are famous for making rules of their own, with dangerous results. Honour killings feature somewhere on the top. They keep a close watch, they know where you were last seen, and with whom.

Do you like our suggestions, or are they as bad as Gurugram? Share your comments below.