My father, whom we call “Anna”, stays in a rented, ground floor flat a few houses down the road. I manage his home and all support staff as his diseases prevent him from doing so. I visit him at least 2 times a day. Once, early in the morning when he gets up and has his first cup of coffee and the second, in the evening.
Our morning meeting gives me an idea of what the day is going to be like for him. Some days he is fine and some days it starts like this:
Me: Hi Anna! Good Morning.
Anna: Sangeeta, I will catch an infection. When are we moving out of this Madivay Mantapa?
(A madivay mantapa is a place where marriages are solemnized. Normally a building with a large hall with many adjoining bedrooms, where the bride and her family stay during a wedding).
Me (choosing to ask about the location and not the health warning): Anna, why do you think we are in a madivay mantapa?
Anna: When are we moving?
Me: Anna, we are in Sheikh Sarai, at home. We are not in a madivay mantapa.
Anna (looking at the attendant, and speaking Kannada that the attendant does not understand): He said so. Aren’t we in a mantapa?
Me: No Anna. We are in Sheikh Sarai. Anna, why are you thinking of a marriage? Did you dream of one?
Anna: No
Then I look at what he is eating with his morning cup of coffee. There is a biscuit and some yellow puffed-rice mixture. Now I understand!
Me: Anna, is the mixture reminding you of early morning coffee at a wedding?
Anna: Yes. (The frown on his face reduces!)
I don’t know what this symptom is called, or whether small episodes of disorientation is caused by Parkinson’s medication or by dementia.
What I have come to understand is that I need to be more observant and cognizant of external stimuli.
Finding linkages between stimuli and my father’s comments helps me understand better what he says.
When I get it, it is an Ah-Ha moment for
me. And for my father, I think it is a moment where he knows he is understood.
(After working in corporate India for over 29 years, Sangeeta has taken time off to look after her father, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2008. Sangeeta hopes that these authentic stories will help patients and caregivers understand and appreciate the impact Parkinson’s Disease. You can follow Sangeeta’s blog here.)
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