It’s a small world and it’s obvious that wherever you go you might meet a few doofuses. Not everyone is gifted with common sense or smarts. But then what a boring zindagi we’d be living if we didn’t meet such people.
You gotta admit, it’s these people who make our lives entertaining. So, it’s only fair that we must recognise them and their contribution to making our year Lol-worthy.
As a tribute to 2016, we at The Quint have decided to nominate a few dodos. We hope your name is not in the list.
Chetan Bhagat
In this book (One Indian Girl), I took the perspective of a modern Indian girl and wrote from a female-first perspective.Chetan Bhagat
But what we got to read instead was...
Radhika (the “feminist” protagonist) has a crippling dependency on male recognition. Radhika – the feminist – constantly compares herself with other women, including her elder sister. Radhika – the feminist – believes that any sexual thoughts are just ‘gandi baat’.
Let’s save the best for the last from the man who wrote the book from a “female-first perspective”: That ‘feminism’ should be renamed ‘humanism’ and guess what our “feminist” does? She of course smiles and happily agrees to this male perspective. *slow clap* . Well, Bhagat just threw the “female-first perspective” out of the window.
Let’s give a big applause to “One Indian Doofus” Chetan Bhagat.
Pahlaj Nihalani
Wait. Was the word ‘doofus’ censored by our CBFC Chief Pahlaj Nihalani?
Phew! We’re safe.
Only words like vagina, salli, nuts, bastard, ghanta, Punjab and a few cuss words were beeped out this year, as they could have hurt the sentiments of Bhartwasis. Like no one has watched Game of Thrones, right?
Pahlaj kaka has ruled 2016 for his most ridiculous censorship decisions. And that’s not the most baffling part; what’s more disturbing are his reasons behind this move. He made James Bond sanskari while he let Ranveer Singh and Vaani Kapoor do chumma-chatti in Paris. He censored Katrina Kaif's lingerie scene in Baar Baar Dekho ‘butt’ was Befikre about Ranveer's arse-shot.
To cut a long story short, let’s just censor Pahlaj Nihalani.
Manohar Parrikar
'Parrikar Ki Manohar Kahaniyas’ have entertained us the entire year.
He’s probably the first Defence Minister who announces his strong personal views at public functions, which are covered by national media, for the whole country to LOL over.
Minister ji has managed hog the limelight with his ‘Parrikarisms’, from suggesting that India could drop its ‘No First Use’ nuclear policy to saying Pakistan is hell.
This winter, let’s just send a box of roasted almonds to our minister ji so that ‘unki dimaag ki batti jale’.
Also read: Welcome to the World of Parrikarisms
Raj Thackeray
.gif?auto=format%2Ccompress&fmt=webp&width=720)
It’s very difficult to decide who is more of a doofus – Raj Thackeray, or the people. How can we have a neta whose only achievement in his political career is to harass bechare Bollywood producers. Why? Well because he has the power to.
Now, what would you call Raj Thackeray and his party MNS, who are incapable of winning the hearts of Marathi manoos but consider it their right to bully ‘em? A man who was all set to roar after his late uncle Bal Thackeray is now desperately trying to stay relevant in his own den.
Meet the man who creates news-ance value!
Swami Om
He’s less of a baba and more of a dikhawa. The bhagwan ka aadmi gives death threats to people beyond his aukat like Arwind Kejriwal. The tharki baba has not just stolen bicycles from his brother but also ‘Clean & Dry’ intimate wash from the Bigg Boss’s house. He’s a so-called sanskari baba, who doesn’t give a sh*t about anyone’s mama.
Watch him live every night and see how doofus Swami is hazardous to any sane person’s health.
Vijay Goel
Oh dear! Vijay Goel has been a treat for Twitter this year. During the Rio Olympics, Sports Minister Vijay Goel got more medals in the doofus category than our athletes.
He not only has weak sports knowledge and poor spelling but also lacks common sense. The third category is what made him eligible for this award.
From getting the spelling of Dipa Karmakar wrong to taking a selfie with the tired Vikas Krishan before he could even address the media and go for his mandatory drug test. Last but not least, he tweeted out Dutee Chand’s picture while he was wishing good luck to Srabani Nanda. *Facepalm*!
And he’s still our Sports Minister, well, that’s because we’re a very sporting country!
Maker of Samsung Galaxy Note 7
After Samsung Glaxay S7, the brand had a good chance to give good takkar to Apple. But with Galaxy Note 7, it ‘blew’ that opportunity. #WhatADoofus
US Democracy
.gif?auto=format%2Ccompress&fmt=webp&width=720)
We’ve just got one thing to say; They’ve ‘Trump-ed’ this nomination process.
Let us know who gets your vote!
(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)