How to Date Like a Tinderella: Avoiding the Married Landmines

Tinder’s full of entertainment if you’re not looking for a date.

Updated
Women
3 min read
Indians on Tinder are often bordering on sleazy. (Photo: <b>The Quint</b>)

What inspires Indians to get on Tinder? The downloading part is easy. What’s even easier is reconciling oneself to the fact that Tinder promises a whole new world at your fingertips. So I decided to become Tinderella for a week.

Tinder opens the doors to a brave new world and offers hope – of a sort. Clearly Tinder seems to think so, considering it opened shop in India, making it the only market outside the US.

For a 30-something single career woman like me, who’s moaned about the lack of quality men in my city over drinks with my fraternity, Tinder offers instant gratification. My phone is, after all, an extension of me. Swipe left or right. And Prince-Not-So-Charming could be a match!

To all those of you parked outside my house with their judgements, here’s the logic of being on a so-called ‘casual dating app’ like Tinder.

Snapshot

Dating 3.0

  • I abhor the idea of being on a Shaadi.com because, let’s face it, I’m not a product waiting to be picked up by a “best before” date.
  • What’s wrong with meeting men in my city I would otherwise have no access to given that my life is already full with work and punctuated by travel.
  • I’m not really in the market for a husband because I’m not sure I’m ‘wife’ material but I would still like the option of meeting a smart guy and date casually.
Nope! Not my type. (Photo: <b>The Quint</b>)
Nope! Not my type. (Photo: The Quint)

A word to the wise, though. It’s riddled with landmines of potential disasters. If you’re single and, like me, head for the hills at the slightest chance that the MET department predicts drama, be warned – you’ll find plenty of married men lurking about.

Now, it’s okay if you fancy the idea of dating a married guy (frankly, it’s safer to bungee jump off a bridge with a flaming canon up your rear), but if you’re like me, then I suggest you ask two questions pretty early on in the game.

  • What made you join Tinder?
  • Are you married?

I’ve managed to get the truth every time. Much to my amusement, married guys either don’t see the problem with being on a dating site or they’ve got some bizarre logic to justify it to themselves.

The profile pictures of some are downright insane. Clearly, there’s some fine stuff every one of them seems to be smoking. Cozy twosomes looking for some company to swingers openly advertising their wares. Even (now this is seriously mental) posing with their kids. For a while, I thought maybe I‘d got it all wrong. Maybe Tinder’s the new Facebook!

Who’s your daddy? (Photo: <b>The Quint</b>)
Who’s your daddy? (Photo: The Quint)

What if both husband and wife were to discover each other on Tinder? Would it rekindle their romance? Would they swipe left or right?

Looking for some dessert after dinner? (Photo: <b>The Quint</b>)
Looking for some dessert after dinner? (Photo: The Quint)

I’ve spoken to plenty of men who’re also on Tinder and asked them what they thought. Turns out there are plenty of ‘married and looking’ women who have hit on them as well. Savita Bhabhi much?

Tinder is pretty much like Goa. There’s every kind of experience out there. Best to give a disclaimer under your profile about what you’re in it for. My choice of profile picture for one was definitely a conversation starter and the big cat meant the rats stayed away!

Crazy cat lady. (Photo: <b>The Quint</b>)
Crazy cat lady. (Photo: The Quint)

So far, after a week on Tinder and around 50 matches later, the stats have boiled down to 3 single men – hopefully non-psychotic.

I have to admit, though, being on Tinder is pretty addictive. It’s like shopping in Sarojini Nagar: “Bhaiyya aur kuch dikhao.”

(The Quint is available on Telegram. For handpicked stories every day, subscribe to us on Telegram)

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