Behind my elegant ladylike TV poise hides a secret rapper. A new friend was shocked to discover this side of me, as I dragged her to a screening of Zoya Akhtar's film Gully Boy. My kids of course, have been familiar with this hip-hop side of me since they were babies.
I don’t know whether it was Gully Boy 's influence or just my despair with the hysterical anchors, but watching the shenanigans of our regional leaders dominating the headlines, I was forced to ask the question rap legend Eminem once asked:
"Will the real slim shady please stand up?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?"
Last week, I found myself in the hot seat yet again – not difficult for a woman from Pakistan who dares to have an opinion and that too a political one. I had accepted my fate as I have already been labelled the "worst example of a woman" by Lollywood film actors, so I wasn't too bothered.
It's just that I would like to be paid for the stir I cause. Anchors of a TV channel carried on relentlessly with their remarks about me despite a recent judgment against them by the UK regulatory body OFCOM. After showing severe agitation over my unpatriotic opinions and giving me prime time space, they finally declared me irrelevant and unimportant.
I found myself reluctantly answering questions about the body language of the Pakistani PM and whether he was a trustworthy character. This came after a speech Imran delivered following the Pulwama attack, after nearly a week of silence.
I found the questions repetitive, as I must have repeated my stance a million times already about the credibility of the leader of the PTI.
Saudi Crown Prince Can Get Away With Anything – Even Murder
In the recent past, I have been more interested in the activities of another installed leader, the Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman. I had been fascinated by his sudden rise to power and erratic personality, long before he was branded the ‘chainsaw’ by the uncontrollable social media.
Back in October 2018, the BBC was running headlines of "Is Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad finished?"
But by this Valentine’s Day, he had scraped his foot and moved onto greener pastures. It struck me that MBS (as the Saudi Crown Prince is popularly called), may be even more forgivable than Imran Khan. The guy can get away with murder it seems.
Here, he was very much the honoured guest on a tour of key Asian countries. This was a much-needed image-building exercise following the affront he received at the G20 summit, the angry crowds in Tunis, and the snub by Mohammed VI of Morocco who refused to meet him, following the Khashoggi murder.
MBS-Imran Khan Bonding – ‘Jealous’ India Ups the ‘Friendship’ Game
Ahead of the flamboyant Saudi Crown Prince, arrived his entourage, and eighty containers landed in Pakistan for a trip that lasted only eighteen hours. Having said that, the royal visitor gave Pakistan a lot more time than Kuwait recently, where he got bored soon after lunch.
The crown prince was all smiles during the visit, and also “praised” Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan’s efforts for ‘dialogue with India’ and the Kartarpur corridor initiative. He even went as far as to assure the rather blushing Pakistani PM that he was the ambassador of Pakistan in Saudi.
All those beaming smiles exchanged must have made the next host India want to step up the welcome protocol. MBS got the reception Trudeau could only dream of from Modi ji himself.
MBS Supports China’s ‘Anti-Terrorism’ Moves
The Pakistani euphoria disappeared as soon as MBS landed in ‘Bharat’ and he announced that he was Modi's ‘younger brother’. He didn't stop there either. After 13 years, Pakistan was mentioned again, and more than once in the joint communique, but this time the tone and intent was decidedly different.
The crown prince praised Modi for his “consistent efforts” to have friendly relations with Pakistan and also condemned the Pulwama attack in the “strongest terms”.
But if Imran can swap his persona of an arrogant ‘Kaptan’ in the dressing room to that of a Cheshire Cat when extending the begging bowl, MBS proved to be the really adaptable one on his next stop in China.
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding. He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
"Saudi crown prince defends China's right to fight 'terrorism," screamed the headlines.
China's right to undertake "anti-terrorism" and "de-extremism" measures, said the prince. Up to one million Uighurs and other minorities are reported to be held in internment camps in Xinjiang as part of a draconian re education program.
MBS clearly wants to continue the "trouble free" relations with everyone's new best friend in the region – China.
Is Saudi Still the ‘Defender’ of Muslims Across the World?
Activists in the UK and Europe tried to make some noise, calling the Prince's stance "truly disgusting", but let’s be honest – who cares when there are missiles and fighter jets to be procured, and oil to be transported? I was brought up to believe that Saudi, as the Leader of the Ummah and the Al Saud family in particular, was the defender of Muslims across the world.
Other than Turkish President Recep Erdogan, the strongest contender for the new leader of the Ummah, no other Muslim state has, till date, condemned China’s treatment of Uighurs, and other, mostly Muslim minorities, in the far-western region of Xinjiang.
Without batting an eyelid, the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia defended China's use of concentration camps against Uighur Muslims.
The young prince seems to be a strong competitor for the memory loss award like the head of state he visited, as he conveniently forgot the EU putting the Royal Kingdom in it's blacklist of those countries that terrorise. The "dirty money" coincided with the bloody attack on the revolutionary guards in Iran on 13 February.
Saudi Crown Prince Has ‘Stiff Competition’ from Imran Khan
China, on the other hand, felt no compulsion to be compromising. They ignored calls from India to support the demand for declaring Masood Azhar a global terrorist. Xi Jinping instead, made his demand clear.
He told the Saudi Crown Prince that the two countries must strengthen international cooperation on de-radicalisation, to “prevent the infiltration and spread of extremist thinking”.
I don’t know who will get the Nobel peace prize this year, but for the Slim Shady, there seems to be tough competition from Imran Khan. It appears, if you’ve seen one, you've seen ‘em all.
In the words of Eminem:
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him"
(Reham Khan is a Libyan-born British Pakistani journalist, author, and filmmaker. She is also the former wife of current Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan. She tweets at @RehamKhan1. This is an opinion piece and the views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for them.)
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