This Is Not The Quint, I Am Not Revati. #NameChange
I hereby re-christen this website Qanth-shastra. The voice from the throat. As its loyal contributor, I also declare that my own name will no longer be Revati Laul but #Qanth-ragini or the woman who is the voice from the throat. Hashtag. All names must from now on have hashtags. You exist and therefore you shall be tagged.
This is the new order of the day and you had better buckle up or shift out. Or if you don’t have the right tag, be shipped out. We are not interested in your comments or your throat, your voice or even your echo if you don’t comply.
You are asking, who made the rules? We didn’t. Names have always changed and we are now cleansing this world of the unnamed disasters that unfolded when quintessentially unholy names were bequeathed on unfree subjects. Slaves of demonic empires. Muslim. Christian. Pagan. We are here to un-change it all.
Ahmedabad Is Amdavad Is Karnavati
We the ordained, elected, chosen by you to deliver unto you what you didn’t even know you wanted until we told you so. We are telling you so. Before you say you didn’t want it, you didn’t think you wanted it, we will tell you it’s been done before by the Congress – now renamed The Un-Party. They did it and we are doing it back. We are reclaiming Prayagraj – don’t call it Allah-abad. We are reclaiming Ayodhya. Please don’t call it Faiz-abad.
And in some cases, you may not have noticed but we have already taken the Ahmed out of Ahmedabad. The municipal corporation of the city now spells it as Amdavad. Look!
You may want to stop here for a minute. We are happy to be your guides. Amda doesn’t mean much for now, we agree. But we couldn’t let the founder Ahmed Shah just sit there and be the cruel Islamic despot he must have been. Deductive logic is a science we are masters of. Is Islamic, therefore the rest follows.
It used to be called The Rule Of Thumb, we are finding a new name for it. We want no references to The Hand, the symbol of the Un-Party.
Anyway, the Chief Minister of Gujarat recently remarked that Ahmedabad may be changed to Karnavati, after a Chalukya dynast who fought a war and defeated a tribal Bhil king and established Karnavati. There’s a popular club there now by that name, and we have inferred that people love going there and really like the name.
What’s in a Name?
Now you English speaking types may quote Shakespeare to us and say, “What’s in a name?” You may say there is a Loh-Purush moniker attached to Sardar Patel and that the tallest statue in the world is now built to honour him. But it’s not built with loh (iron) but clad in bronze. So, what’s in a name?
We can tell you this: Names may not be much in themselves but labels are everything. What would Mayawati’s politics be without the name of Dalit attached? What would the Un-Party be without the Gandhi name? We are following an age-old tradition, my friends, deviyon aur sajjano. Naming and gaming.
We have one mantra for you now. Switch off this device. Go stand in front of the mirror. Say Ohm Namo and then your name after. See how much power you get. Good. Are you feeling happy now? Rich, resplendent, full? Great. It works perfectly.
Our economy is great because you say it is. You don’t need jobs because you are all self-starters. Hash-tagged self-starters. This country is paradise. It’s all about what you say and the way you say it. Find yourself your true name now. Go on. Qanth-shastra.
(Revati Laul is a Delhi based journalist and film-maker and the author of ‘The Anatomy of Hate,’ published by Context/Westland and in stores from November 30th, 2018. She tweets@revatilaul. This is an opinion piece. The views expressed above are the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is responsible for them.)
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