It is ironical that on social media people are forever posting articles on why not to befriend strangers, yet very few take what they post seriously. The tragic death of Kusum Singla, a software engineer with IBM in Bangalore, is another warning to watch every word we punch on our keyboard or think twice before even uploading a picture that we can’t picture as anything but innocent, online.
Thirty-two-year-old Kusum was strangled on January 19 with the cord of her own laptop adapter by Sukhbir Singh, whom she had met for the first time the same day.
They had become ‘friends’ on Facebook after she accepted his invite without knowing anything about him or even having any acquaintance in common, a cardinal sin on Facebook. Their chats led to a meeting at Kusum’s apartment where the crime took place.
Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Perhaps our lives have become so hectic, that instead of the ‘real’ we now only have time for the ‘virtual’. Maybe Kusum, who was from Jalandhar, just wanted some emotional support after shifting to a big town only a couple of months before her death.
Hectic work environments distance us from those who are physically around us, forcing us to take solace in the world of social media. Here, you can be what you desire, you can sound profound or inane, it’s all on your timeline.
But the most dangerous perhaps is disclosing your private life happily to the public. There is always someone waiting on the ‘wall’ willing to embrace you. We seemed to have forgotten what we learnt in our childhood; the cunning spider will any how get the fly into his parlour.
The most vulnerable are the young kids, some barely in their teens who take pride in fabricating their age so they can go beyond the age restrictions and open an account. The controls are there for a reason, so that they are just a little wiser when strangers ‘poke’ them or send friend requests. What is surprising though is how many parents are aware of their child being active online and not stopping them.
A while ago a video on social media involving three families went viral. There was widespread reaction on how we need to become more involved in our children’s personal lives and especially intrusive when it comes to who they are communicating with.
These parents were part of an experiment that was filmed to see if their daughters would go on a date with a stranger they had ‘met’ on Facebook. The families were confident in their child’s upbringing, yet all the three girls lied and walked out of the house to meet the man.
Self-Controlled Interaction
The dangers for those even younger ironically come from their own families. Facebook and Instagram are now the new photo albums. Stylised with a dose of photoshop, everyone is posing cheerfully; scarily, so are their children. Chubby kids eating, a toddler trying to walk, a little girl playing with her pet dog, there is nothing that is sacred anymore. And that makes them all the more vulnerable.
A few months back, Australia’s Children’s eSafety Commissioner warned that half of the material that was found on some paedophile sites had been stolen from accounts of parents who despite the preying eyes make a habit of disclosing everything about their child.
He added that within just 10 days of being uploaded from these social media sites, some of these pictures of our children that we can’t seem to keep where they belong – in the privacy of our homes – had been viewed 1.7 million times. Once you put these pictures up, it is no longer in your domain or control.
In today’s world perhaps its very difficult to be anything else. Social media encourages interaction. The only thing we can aim to do is to be careful and take hold of our privacy. Kusum Singla probably took just one wrong step, but in our fast paced world where it’s easy to fake identities or remain anonymous, it was a one step too far.
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