Sexolve 42: ‘How Do I Remember That I Have a Tampon in My Vagina?’

A question about love, sex or sexuality giving you sleepless nights? Ask us!

Updated
LGBT
6 min read
‘I get worried the tampon will get inside my body.’ (Photo: iStock)

Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on The Quint.

If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationships, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.

This week’s Q&As below:

I Am Tempted to Invite a Friend for a Threesome

‘Recently sex has become business as usual’. (Photo: iStock)
‘Recently sex has become business as usual’. (Photo: iStock)

Dear RainbowMan,

We are a gay couple, both of us are 26 years old. We are in a relationship for the past two years. We have been thoroughly committed and have never once cheated on each other. However, in recent times the sex has become very ‘business as usual’. There is no warmth and no lust for each other’s bodies. My bodily desires are unfulfilled and this is making our relationship sore. We are drifting apart because of this. I am wondering rather than going and doing someone outside our relationship, how about calling someone over for a threesome. Is this a good decision? A bad decision? Will this make our relationship sourer? I am confused and scared as shit. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend ever.

Rahul, Bombay

Dear Rahul,

Thank you for sharing a slice of your life with me. There comes a time in every relation where familiarity breeds disinterest, and in the next stage, sometimes, contempt. Glad that you are able to reason at this stage and are able to view things clearly.

Regarding the sex part between couples, it is high time that we all realise that we also have something that I call the “sex fatigue”. When we reach that phase, it is important to innovate and up the game.

We sometimes exhaust all the positions of the Kamasutra in a single year and the “discover what more my lips can do” (or replace lips with any body part) phase has no excitement or suspense left anymore.

I prefer love life and sex life as a suspense thriller or a romantic comedy. I don’t quite like it going the family drama way.

How long has it been that you and your partner have gone on a vacation together? Maybe it is time for one now if you haven’t ventured for one in the recent past. And if you have overdone the couple vacation part, maybe it is time that you guys go on vacations alone. Maybe space off each other will allow you to make some new space for each other.

Regarding getting a threesome. I can’t predict how your boyfriend would take it. Or how you would feel. Maybe, it would be nice to just throw a few hints at him and gauge his reaction? Try that! I personally wouldn’t see anything wrong in a relationship where the heart belongs to my partner, but a little love is showered on someone else in a sex session of 20 minutes. A 20-minute sex-session cannot weigh more than two years of love.

But, fortunately, or unfortunately, you aren’t my boyfriend. And I cannot speak for your boyfriend. I would suggest that you broach the topic with him smartly after gauging his reactions.

You will do good. I wish you two a lovely sex life ahead.

Smiles

RainbowMan

Does Masturbation Detach the Penis?

‘The penis doesn’t have a bone that can be broken’. (Photo: iStock)
‘The penis doesn’t have a bone that can be broken’. (Photo: iStock)

Dear Rainbowman,

I am a 23-year-old boy. I pull and push my penis too hard every time I masturbate. I pull it out completely with my right hand and stretch it till it becomes too hard. All this time I get thoughts of naked women in my head. When I pull it enough outside my body, I feel pain and I take time to get sperm. How do I reduce pain and ensure that the bone doesn’t break and penis gets cut from my body?

Jerking Boy, Ahmedabad

Dear Jerking Boy,

Let me try and understand what you are trying to say. You are saying that you masturbate by pulling your penis? Well, first things first, you don’t masturbate by pulling your penis.

It is a penis, not the emergency chain of a local train that should be pulled in desperate situations.

Masturbation is done in many ways. But the simplest is by simply stroking (feeling, touching, shaking) your penis in upward downward direction. Or just feeling it up in circular direction while thinking of your object of fantasy. When the images come up in your head and you feel excited, your penis by itself will get erect because of the increased blood flow.

So, please. Please spare yourself the hard labour of pulling your penis. Of course, if you pull it, you will feel pain.

About your penis getting cut from your body because of pulling… let me ask you... will your tongue get cut if someone pulls it harshly... or your eye lids or your hand…? The same is the answer for your penis.

And finally, the question of your penis bone breaking does not arise at all, as there needs to be a bone in the penis for it to break.

I suggest that you watch some demo videos on male masturbation. They are all across the web. Try xvideos. It may help you with knowledge and as a bonus - some inspiration for your masturbation routine.

Regards,

RainbowMan

How Do I Remember That I Have a Tampon in My Vagina?

The tampon has no business of being in your body after half a day. (Photo: iStock)
The tampon has no business of being in your body after half a day. (Photo: iStock)

Dear RainbowMan,

I am a 23-year-old girl with very little period blood oozing out during my days. I therefore am habituated to putting my tampon on for many days. Sometimes when I remove it, it gets all smelly and dirty. I get worried that it will get inside my body through my vag and there would be some horrible birth complications. How do I remember that I have it on in my vagina and take it out when it is filled with period blood?

Ms Fretting, India

Dear Ms Fretting,

At the outset I have to tell you that I am not a certified medical practitioner, so you would need to vet this advice with caution and not take it seriously until you confirm with a doctor.

I don’t think the tampon will slip inside the body. Though the tampon string can go inside the body, I think you can feel it and pull it out. That said, the tampon has no business of being in your body after half a day. Even if it is not soaked in blood, please ensure that you remove it at least after half a day. Even if there is little blood absorption, it could become a broth for bacteria to feast on and it could get smelly, itchy and make you feel dirty.

If for any reason, you are unable to remove the tampon and it lodges itself in your vagina, please visit a doctor and get it removed. They could do it easily with a pair of forceps.

I know we all have the habit of continuing to use the product until it is fully used. But no, don’t do it with tampons. Throw it in half a day, even if it is not fully soaked.

Again, verify this with a general practitioner.

Smiles :)

RainbowMan

(The copy of the text and the location has been edited to protect the identity of the person. You can send in your questions to sexolve@thequint.com)

(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals.)

(The Quint is available on Telegram. For handpicked stories every day, subscribe to us on Telegram)

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