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TN Single Mom Defies Custom and Gives Her Daughter Away at Wedding

Rajeshwari Sharma smashes patriarchal and orthodox customs by performing her daughter’s Kanyaadanam.

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When a boy and a girl decide to get married, the parents from both sides play immensely consequential roles. However, a single parent ie. a parent without a spouse, is often not accorded the status and the say that they deserve.

Their presence or excessive activity in their child’s wedding, in the oft-flawed Indian tradition, is considered inauspicious by some. This diminishes their role to that of mere spectators, as someone else marries their child off.

However, breaking tradition and setting a delightful precedent, a single mother, in Tamil Nadu, decided to perform her daughter’s Kanyadaanam. A photograph from the wedding, clicked by Varun Suresh, has gone viral on Facebook along with an appreciation post by Aravindan Sudarshan.

People always plan for textbook weddings. A one in which there is no compromise. But, in their tryst to uphold tradition...

Posted by Aravindan Sudarsan on Saturday, January 20, 2018
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In the photograph, the bride can be seen sitting on her mother’s lamp, while the groom performs the ritual of tying a necklace around her neck.

Speaking to TNM, the mother Rajeshwari Sharma shares the earnestness with which she decided to be the one giving her daughter away, despite custom.

I very much wanted to be a part of my daughter’s wedding and so I decided to be the one who had to give her away in marriage.
Rajeshwari also adds that until she came across a young, understanding priest called Raghavan, she had thought that finding a priest who would agree to her role in the wedding would not be an easy task.

According to the TNM report, Rajeshwari Sharma had gotten married at 21 to a man 12 years older. 17 years later when they mutually decided to end their marriage, Rajeshwari had two children and was also doing a full time job and her husband was not an active part of the family.

Since he (the husband) wasn’t a major part of my children’s lives, it was not very difficult for them to adjust. My family, in that regard, although very concerned, was very supportive.
Rajeshwari to TNM
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Admiring Rajeshwari’s decision to play such an active role in her daughter’s wedding despite an absent spouse, Aravindan Sudarshan writes in his Facebook post:

Life and destiny are not always pleasant, but you can always choose to make it better for yourself and the people around you.

Rajeshwari’s decision to defy custom comes as a breath of fresh air, and the photograph stands testimony to the fact that the bride and the groom could not have had a happier wedding.

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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Topics:  Tamil Nadu   Patriarchy   Indian Wedding 

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