Beyond the Law, It Is About the Acknowledgment of Your Pain
Sandip Roy, radio host and novelist says, “So many of us bear the scars of not fitting in”
Sandip Roy, radio host and novelist says, “So many of us bear the scars of not fitting in”(Photo: Sandip Roy/TheQuint: Shruti Mathur)

Beyond the Law, It Is About the Acknowledgment of Your Pain

Sandip Roy is a radio host and novelist, and was formerly a software engineer. He has witnessed the LGBTQ+ movement in India and the United States. His radio shows, articles, and the novel Don’t Let Him Know have dealt with the politics and family secrets of sexuality that Indians can carry with them throughout their lives. Here is Sandip Roy’s reaction to today’s verdict, as told to Quint Neon.

Beyond the law, it is that acknowledgement of your pain. There are scars. So many of us bear the scars of not fitting in, of being different, and we carry those scars with us. We are human and we have always sought affirmation. And when the highest court of the land says that we are are owed an apology, something breaks inside. It is such a simple thing to ask for it. It is a profound thing to receive.

I came out to my family a very long time ago, it was certainly difficult for my mum especially. I understand that the reactions they had were not so much from homophobia but from their surfeit of love for me. That I would be alone, what would happen once they were gone.

Over time, we have made peace with it. One of the reasons I have come back to India is that I needed to come back and see if it was possible to be myself even with all that it entails.

It is one thing to rationalize it, but when i heard this from the highest court of the land, there was a catch in my throat.

I kept thinking of so many friends who are not here right now. So many friends who thought they would see this in their life time and who didn’t.

And watching so many people unafraid to show their faces to the camera.

No matter how much I have said or written, I have spent so much time holding my breath for this country and at least for this day i can finally exhale.

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