Millennials have mostly grown up seeing arranged marriages around them.
For the longest time, the idea of an Indian woman looking for a suitable partner for herself was unheard of. But with the advent of social media, smartphones and technology the possibilities of meeting new people have increased.
Exploring the same, Illustrator Indu Harikumar started a crowdsourced project, #HowWeDate, backed by Tinder. Through a series of illustrations, Indu tried to delve deeper into the world of Indian women reclaiming their sexuality and relationships.
Through #HowWeDate, she captures stories told from the women’s perspective, of how they met their partners through Tinder, bringing them out through a series of illustrations.
Online Dating Is My Swayamwar
I don't think women ever have to face rejection online. I haven't. And that sort of made me feel powerful. It felt like I could have my personal swayamwar, where I could deliberately flirt with someone I found handsome, or someone who was funny or someone whose junk I wanted to see or just block them if I didn't want anything further. I enjoyed this.
When Strangers Connected like Old Friends
I matched with someone. I wasn’t looking to date, find love or have sex. I wasn’t even using Tinder, but had turned on the web version. Within five minutes of meeting, he asked me if I would like to hang out at his place, not once did this feel unsafe. He cooked. We connected like old friends. Despite the difference in our social class, I felt so accepted and so equal.
Matching on an Unmatching Spree
Went on a crazy unmatching spree, but something made me not want to unmatch this one. I casually asked, “You still around?”. He said he’d moved out of Bombay briefly, but was definitely around. That night, we moved to WhatsApp, and just never stopped talking.
Will There Ever Be a ‘Next’ Time?
He turned to me and asked “Are you going to talk to me after today?”. I was floored ‘cause he didn’t ask if I was going to meet/come home again, but if I was going to speak to him again. That was very reassuring. He wasn’t like the other people I’d met on and off Tinder, he wasn’t trying to show off or to just get me to sleep with him.
Plans out of Nowhere...
It was the new year’s, and I had no plans but someone charmed me into making plans for the night. He picked me up for dinner and we were gonna smoke up and spend the new year riding away. I dropped the leftovers that we had carried home. He had been taking care of a litter of puppies who seemed more than happy munching on the food on the road. He let it slide by. We sat in, smoked up and had a few beers. And soon, the new year began. We forgot to kiss.
So you see, it doesn’t always have to end with happily ever after. It’s about the varied experiences women enjoy on a dating app and how they choose to take control.
When I go out on a date it is with an open mind. I no longer look for compatibility and neither am I closed to the possibility. I just don’t want to define the course of the relationship beforehand. Dating to me is spending quality time with someone you are interested in. It doesn’t always have to lead to love or relationships.Indu Harikumar
Who knows, it could turn out to be a path to self-discovery or a series of encounters forever etched in your mind.
Happy dating!
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