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(Photo: Amrita Gandhi/The Quint)

My Daughter Just Puked Blue Glitter –What Snapchat Does To Me

Here’s what seeing my daughter in a Snapchat filter does to my brain. What it is doing to hers is anyone’s guess.

Updated
Life
3 min read

There is nothing quite like a phone to rescue the “I’m so bored” six-year-old and her ‘desperate for some me-time’ parent. She was bored, and I was desperate – so there went the phone into her capable hands. My little one mastered the endless possibilities of Snapchat photo filters in a snap.

I have no idea what it is doing to her brains. But I can tell you what it does to mine when I find in my phone a thousand avatars of my daughter in looks that go from hilarious to you-can’t-be-serious.

I’m not exactly a child beauty pageant mum, and I haven’t routinely handed my six-year-old a stick of mascara.

Conversations with her about make up have usually gone like this:

She: Mama, can I wear a little of your lipstick, please?

Me: No, sweetie. Sorry!

She: Whyyy? You wear it... please, please, please… I’m taking it!

Me: You’re already beautiful. ALSO, you’re going to squish it when you try to close it.

So you can imagine why I was a little taken aback when I saw a picture of her looking like this:

The end result of a make-up tutorial without the make up or the tutorial – is a Snapchat filter for you.

Vibrant vomit without swallowing a box of paints chased with a tube of glitter – another Snapchat filter for you

A bunny mask in a bit too grown up Halloween kind of way, complete with oversized Disney eyes – that’s a Snapchat filter for you.

Roman siren hair wreaths with long lashes out of nowhere and a general ethereal glow – that’s a Snapchat filter for you.

Sure, it’s fun, even if a little too grown up for her. But it also has me thinking if I am in fact short-changing her of the experience of dressing up.

Playing dress-up is the ultimate expression of a little self’s selfhood. But in this disembodied dress-up session, she gets to be it all without trying on anything. A kind of hyper-real facsimile of anything you can and can’t imagine.

Yet, while I may be analysing this to tears, she and her father are going to town with the looks of the day.

The only thing a little more weird than seeing her in Madonna hair and earrings is seeing him in them! I think I’ll spare you that visual for now.

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