(Photo: Amrita Gandhi/The Quint)
My Daughter Just Puked Blue Glitter –What Snapchat Does To Me
Here’s what seeing my daughter in a Snapchat filter does to my brain. What it is doing to hers is anyone’s guess.
There is nothing quite like a phone to rescue the “I’m so bored” six-year-old and her ‘desperate for some me-time’ parent. She was bored, and I was desperate – so there went the phone into her capable hands. My little one mastered the endless possibilities of Snapchat photo filters in a snap.
I have no idea what it is doing to her brains. But I can tell you what it does to mine when I find in my phone a thousand avatars of my daughter in looks that go from hilarious to you-can’t-be-serious.
I’m not exactly a child beauty pageant mum, and I haven’t routinely handed my six-year-old a stick of mascara.
Conversations with her about make up have usually gone like this:
She: Mama, can I wear a little of your lipstick, please?
Me: No, sweetie. Sorry!
She: Whyyy? You wear it... please, please, please… I’m taking it!
Me: You’re already beautiful. ALSO, you’re going to squish it when you try to close it.
So you can imagine why I was a little taken aback when I saw a picture of her looking like this:
The end result of a make-up tutorial without the make up or the tutorial – is a Snapchat filter for you.
Vibrant vomit without swallowing a box of paints chased with a tube of glitter – another Snapchat filter for you
A bunny mask in a bit too grown up Halloween kind of way, complete with oversized Disney eyes – that’s a Snapchat filter for you.
Roman siren hair wreaths with long lashes out of nowhere and a general ethereal glow – that’s a Snapchat filter for you.
Sure, it’s fun, even if a little too grown up for her. But it also has me thinking if I am in fact short-changing her of the experience of dressing up.
Playing dress-up is the ultimate expression of a little self’s selfhood. But in this disembodied dress-up session, she gets to be it all without trying on anything. A kind of hyper-real facsimile of anything you can and can’t imagine.
Yet, while I may be analysing this to tears, she and her father are going to town with the looks of the day.
The only thing a little more weird than seeing her in Madonna hair and earrings is seeing him in them! I think I’ll spare you that visual for now.
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