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Sexolve 41: Can My Husband’s Penis Break Because Of Masturbation?

Worried about love, sex, sexuality or relationships? Talk to us.

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Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on The Quint.

If you have any problems, doubts or queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationships, which you can’t seem to deal with, or need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.

This week’s Q&As below:

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My Husband Shakes His Penis Too Hard. Will It Break?

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Will my husband’s penis break because of masturbation? (Photo: iStock)

Dear RainbowMan,

I have a very difficult and embarrassing question to ask. My husband’s willy is very loose. The end of his penis is bigger than the attached portion. It is like in a V shape. Hence I feel, that if he shakes it too much while masturbating, it will break. I have therefore requested him to not masturbate, and offer him oral sex to satisfy him. How do I stop him from masturbating for ever? I don’t want his penis to break. I love him. Please advice. Please pray for me.

Concerned wife, Faridabad

Dear Concerned Wife,

I am overwhelmed with emotions after listening to your undying love story. I know penis breaks can lead to heart breaks. But in all possibility, his penis will not break.

I just prayed to lord Vyatsayana, who wrote the Kamasutra, and he responded with a message for you. He told me that you will be just fine and so will your husband. Masturbation doesnt break the penis, unless of course, he is hammering his penis, or being that harsh with it.

Please don’t fret over things like that. Masturbation is a normal and natural process. You should enjoy loads of sex. But dont have ‘pity oral sex’ with him. Do it with love. Do it with compassion. And most importantly, do it because you want to do it, whenever you want to to it. And remember, his consent is paramount. However, don’t do it to keep him from masturbating. I think all of the world’s problems can be solved with a discussion. So is the case with bedroom issues. Please speak to your husband. I am sure that he has his concerns too. Speak to him and help each other. See a counsellor or a sexologist if you need help.

Regarding the V shape of the penis, well, penises like love, come in various sizes. However, seek assistance from a doctor, if you really feel there is something abnormal.

Smiles,

RainbowMan

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I Like SCAT Play, But My Wife Doesn’t Return The Favour

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All about SCAT fantasies. (Photo courtesy: publicdomainpictures.net)

Dear RainbowMan,

Thank you so much for all your unbiased responses. I have been reading them for the last one year, and am overwhelmed with confidence to ask you this. I got married five years ago. I have a toilet fantasy. I like to eat the faeces of my lovers. I slowly introduced my wife to my fantasy, by licking her anal area and stimulating it. The first time, I ate her faeces was one year after our wedding. At first she didnt like it, but now, she doesn’t say anything when I do it on her. Of late though, my wife has become very rude. I have been pleasuring her for so long, when I ask her to return the favour by eating my faeces, she refuses. I love her, so it hurts. How do I convince her?

ScatMan, Somewhere

Dear ScatMan,

Thank you for sharing your fantasies without hesitation, and thank you for your appreciation. It is not that I am not judgemental about people, I am. But I look at people beyond the judgements I make. Many people have fantasies that are termed as “weird”. I maintain that one is free to have those fantasies, nevertheless. Unless of course, it harms the person or someone else.

In your case, the SCAT fantasy may harm you. Shit or faecal matter is filled with Salmonella and E Coli, which are bacteria that can cause severe illnesses that would start from abdominal pain to more painful diseases. I cannot ask you to not fantasise. But I will definitely tell you that actions have consequences. And the consequences could be really bad.

Don’t you try convincing your wife. She is not your property. She has her own free will to participate or reject your fantasies. If you really love her, ask her what her wishes or fantasies are. She is not rude if she doesn’t participate in every fantasy of yours. She is a human being, an individual. And individuals have their own minds. Respect her mind. Respect her body.

Love,

RainbowMan

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I’m Gay And My Boyfriend Is Violent

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I didn’t know domestic violence was a thing in the gay world. (Photo: iStock)

Dear RainbowMan,

I am in a live-in relationship with my boyfriend since the past 10 years. Off late, my partner has turned very very abusive. He comes home drunk and beats me up. I am unable to fight back as I love him. I thought such incidents of violences don’t happen in the gay world. I am clearly mistaken. Please help me.

Strong Boy, Mumbai

Dear Strong Boy,

Thank you for sharing this with me. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate basis gender or sexuality or religion or caste. It affects everybody. Please sit down and explain to your partner that you are not his doormat and that you will not accept violence in the relationship. No one will stand for you, Strong Boy. You will have to stand up for yourself.

And if he doesn’t listen. Please leave.

It does not matter whether you lived with him for ten days or ten years. It doesn’t matter if you are homosexual or bisexual or heterosexual. Respect is a two way street. If it is not so, one should rather not call it a relationship.

Please stand up for yourself. No one else will.

Smiles,

RainbowMan

P.S. I love you. Thank you.

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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Topics:  Love    Domestic Violence   Homosexuality 

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