“Life is like a race. If you don't run fast, you'll be like a broken anda (egg)!” said Aamir Khan in the movie 3 Idiots, and rightly so!
Somewhat guided by this concept, no parent wants their child to be a broken egg in this generation of rat race. No parent wants their child to fall behind, to make mistakes or be a loser in life. So they start early... sometimes so early that they decide the name of the school before deciding the name of their child! Children are given the best education, best coaching, best of everything. Parents make it happen through extra hours of work and selfless sacrifice.
There's absolutely no problem with this story until now.
Problem arises when children cannot yield the desired results and makes the blood and sweat of their parents seem futile. My story is very much alike.
You can also hear the story here:
She locked me in a room, questioned & caned me for 2 hours incessantly
As the famous saying goes ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’, my hot-headed Indian mother left no stone unturned to try and discipline me in her way.
So she never spared the rod- slapping and caning. In fact, name any corporal punishment and I can tell you when it was inflicted on me.
I remember an incident vividly. When I was in my 3rd grade, somehow I couldn't complete my English Literature paper in the final exam and I chose to lie to my mother about it, at that tender age.
In the parent-teacher meeting when the truth was revealed, not only was I publicly humiliated by her but also was locked in a room, questioned & caned by my mother for 2 hours continuously. My father was my only ally. Had he not saved me that day, I'd be scarred for life. Thereafter, I could never be truthful to my mother ever again.
Sometimes I'd be caught red-handed to which the same corporal punishments were meted out. What she never understood was – I lied only to her, not to my dad or cousins or friends or anyone else for that matter. If only she could listen to my side of the story without judging me, I'd never have to lie about anything.
If only she would stop hitting me, I wouldn’t have to live through my childhood in fear.
I have made it past 22 years of my life and all along fought my own battles, like every other child. My childhood, my teenage years are over. I completed my graduation from a reputed college & am currently pursuing masters in Forensic Science.
Yet, nothing much has changed between my mother and me except for the fact that we've both grown older but not any wiser. I continue lying to her sometimes and I continue to share all my secrets with dad. We have our own mutual understanding. He is more like my friend.
The harsher my mother was to me, the closer I got to dad. I understand now that probably her intention was not bad, but her way of expressing it was painful.
Parenting is a very difficult task but being a child is not easy either. And bad memories last a lifetime. Only if she understood this.
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