SATIRE | Letter from a Patriotic Indian: Do I Protest Too Much?

Yeh Jo India Hai Na... What should it do to prove its Indianness?
Rohit Khanna
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Yeh Jo India Hai Na... What Should It Do To Prove Its Indianness?
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Yeh Jo India Hai Na... What Should It Do To Prove Its Indianness?
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Video Producer: Shohini Bose
Video Editor: Ashutosh Bhardwaj

Yeh Jo India Hai Na, it has a long and great tradition of satire. This one is written by senior journalist TM Veeraraghav who has allowed us to convert it into a video.  It goes like this:

Respected Sirs,

Jai Shri Ram

I hope this greeting is enough to prove my 'Indianness' and patriotism. If it is not, do let me know which other forces, divine or human, I need to hail to establish that I am a devout ‘Indian’ and citizen. I am happy and willing to endorse not just gods, but also human beings, dead or alive, to prove that I belong to, believe in and truly love this nation.

It does not matter to the dead – Nehru, ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi or ‘Veer’ Savarkar whether their names and deeds are glorified or mauled. It does not matter to the gods whether you pray to them or not build or destroy places of worship in their name.It does, unfortunately, matter to the living whether they are allowed to live, at the least… and peacefully, if possible. Hence, I will not question whether someone builds a sky-high temple or brings down a mosque.  It simply does not matter. To those with hate, no temple is enough to pray and to those with love, even rubble will show the path to the divine.

Sirs, I will also not question whether you make a State into a Union Territory overnight or split it down the middle. It is clear, neither a State nor a Union Territory will offer justice if the intention is to deny it. And if the intention is there, justice can be sought and found in a Union Territory or a State. It does not even matter to me that you withdraw any special status.

In any case, my request and that of other citizens is only to be treated and to treat all others as equals and not special. Not just in letter, but in spirit.

I will also endure any changes and introduction of 'fakes' or 'facts' to history.  Ultimately, when my present and future are in jeopardy. History does become a luxury! I hope these assertions and clarifications can allow me the space and earn me the right to be listened to. Everyone is speaking, but, it seems, Sirs, that you have refused to listen and declared all those speaking against you as against the country. I am eager to find out how I can prove that I am not against the country or even you, and am only concerned for the well being of this country that is yours, and mine.

Respected Sirs, You have been elected with an overwhelming majority. For many who have chosen you – affectionately known as ‘Bhakts’ just praising you is the ultimate act of patriotism.

This is why, Sirs, I fail to understand why you need to keep proving that you are the champions of the nation, of a religion. You are the undisputed champions and throwing away or keeping any illegal immigrant, detaining a protester irrespective of his or her religion, is unlikely to change that.

Having clarified that, Respected Sirs, i take the liberty to ask… Why? Why is it that I do not even have the right to a peaceful protest or to be heard? Why does my name matter? Why should my clothes matter?  In fact, if you have not noticed, these days I am often clean shaven often in jeans and T-shirt like every other citizen. And just as often in kurtas, designer kurte nahi, but simple ones like this one.

Why should it matter? I may cover my head and face with a scarf maybe because I’m devout, maybe to keep predators at bay maybe just to protect myself from pollution. Why does it matter? Why can you not, at the least, allow me to have an illusion of equality or at least allow me to come onto the streets peacefully and waste my energies demanding it?

May I, Respected Sirs, take the liberty to request you to advise me as to how I can be allowed the right to a peaceful, spirited protest against government policies and actions? I am painfully aware that you are too strong to succumb to my protest and hence you certainly could show me some indulgence and allow it. If time permits, even listen to my voice of dissent.

I wish you a 1000-year ‘Rashtra’, and given the condition of the electoral opposition in this country, I suspect you may even achieve it.

Wish you a happy new year!

Jai Shri Ram… Again

With Regards,
The Indian Protester!

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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