10 Ways to be a Badass Wonder Woman, Inspired by ‘Wonder Woman’
When a man offers to mansplain your own battle to you, say “Don’t tell me what to do!” and bring out your cape.
There’s this particularly beautiful scene in 2017’s super grosser Wonder Woman.
Three soldiers who are fighting alongside Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman to trump the Nazis lay down their mantles, almost literally. Wonder Woman is busy being a badass and protecting a village – and the three men, instead of squabbling (like in the real world) over how their egos are being made into putty, by a woman, unanimously become her allies.
They bow their heads as they lift the broken bonnet of a car above them and scream to Diana/Wonder Woman to climb on the bonnet and use it as a springing board. Diana does and soars to the highest point – and very soon, finishes off the battle.
And what if it were? How cool would that be?
Till we reach that dream though, I’m going to continue channelling the Wonder Woman spirit. It’s easy really – no capes and shields required (although, that doesn’t hurt). Here’s how to smash the patriarchy, Wonder Woman style:
1. Lead from the front and don’t look back.
2. When men offer to mansplain your own battles to you, say “Don’t tell me what to do,” and do your thing anyway.
3. When a man attempts to tell you what to wear, wear your (invisible) Amazon headgear to stupefy him first and then walk out wearing whatever the hell you want.
4. When men tell you they’re “above average” with a smirk, quote sex scriptures to him, elaborating on how “men are necessary for procreation, but not necessarily for pleasure”.
5. When folks tell you aren’t appropriately dressed to walk into someplace formal, flash ’em the veritable middle digit by accessorising with a sword (or something more millennial if medieval fashion ain’t your thing).
6. Think of patriarchy as a large, but hollow wall. The more assuredly you smash into its foundations, the faster it will crumble.
7. Fight like a girl. Show those prejudiced arses what #fightinglikeagirl truly is.
8. Older folks who’ve had several years to ferment their patriarchy might be harder to convince. Think of aunties and uncles who’ve had no one to break down to them the ridiculousness of “women serve, men lord over”. Be trite but nice, and respond with a "Pardon me, are you frigging kidding me?”
9. To the poor fool who says, “women can’t stand to hang out with each other for too long”, climb your metaphorical horse and toss metaphorical dirt in their direction. Then, gallivant on your horse with other girlfriends, wield a sword or nine – and live in a large and beautiful island where (horror of horrors!) women get along.
10. Don’t be scared to get your ‘fierce’ on. You know the peeps who say, “You look too pretty to grimace that ugly?” Or, the creeps that ask you to “Smile, now. That’s like a good girl?” Look fierce, frightening, serene, beautiful – whatever adjective’s closest to current core temperature.
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