Quora Users Reveal How Deplorably Lesbians Live in India

India doesn’t feature among those nations that gives or believes in giving equal rights to the members of the LGBTQ community. (Photo: iStockPhoto)

India can be a very hostile place for anybody who doesn’t prescribe to the heteronormative lifestyle. Belonging to a minority section can mean routine discrimination.

It is difficult to express sexual desire, especially if it isn’t heteronormative. Take the case of the LGBTQ community. A Supreme Court ruling penalises unnatural sex, which includes anything from cunnilingus to bestiality. The vast majority of ‘traditional’ Indians do not differ between the two- as far as they are concerned, there is no difference between the two.

Huffington Post revealed some tough realities about the lives of lesbians after running a quick Quora search on the question–“What it is to be a lesbian in India?”

One user described being a lesbian as “pretending and hiding” lest society ostracize them.

India doesn’t feature among those nations that believe in giving equal rights to the members of the LGBTQ community.

Certainly it is preferable to living in neighbouring countries which exhibit worse forms of discrimination, but that is hardly any consolation.

Economic backgrounds largely influence how it is to be a lesbian in the country. (Photo: iStockPhoto)

Quora user, Anemic Pareek goes on to write,

The other day my girlfriend wanted to kiss me. I told her to wait for like years till we start living together because if anyone see us, we will be in jail.

If the excessive pressure to be married before 30 isn’t bad enough, hostile parents can be a source of depression for closeted homosexuals.

An anonymous author writes,

If it is in India, it can get even tougher as family support will be impossible. Call it respect or just not to get insulted in the society or whatever it may be. Although there may be people who are into it, most of the cases will be hidden from the family and they just try to “fall in love” with some guy. Which does not happen just like that. [sic]

While the author goes on to describe the love story of her childhood friends, who despite being married off to men, found resolution when the husbands turned out to be supportive, happy endings are a rare occurrence at best.

If the excessive pressure to be married before 30 isn’t bad enough, hostile parents can be a source of depression for closeted homosexuals. (Photo: iStockPhoto)

Another author Madhavi Potte writes,

It is never easy to be gay or bi in India or anywhere else for that matter. But in India it is more difficult because here we won’t get any support from family, or friends or society. 

An anonymous author says,

If it is in India, it can get even tougher as family support will be impossible. Call it respect or just not to get insulted in the society or whatever it may be. Although there may be people who are into it, most of the cases will be hidden from the family and they just try to “fall in love” with some guy. Which does not happen just like that.  

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But no discussion on Indian society is complete without understanding class differences and privilege.

Economic backgrounds largely influence what it is like to be a lesbian in the country. Richer ‘elite’ classes may be more open to accepting lesbians (though of course, a generalisation cannot be made), while girls from the orthodox middle class might find themselves forced into an arranged marriage or they may just opt to be single. The less privileged classes, however, are often not in a position to fight for their sexual rights.

Well let’s divide you into three categories first of all. The poor, middle-class and rich lesbians. The first class doesn’t exist, it’s a myth. Poor girls do not have time to worry about their sexuality. They much rather worry about food, shelter and clothing. Then the middle class lesbians, well these poor bunch just remain single feminists for the majority of their lifetime. [sic]

Rati Gupta, Quora User

Read the original answers here and here.

(Source: Huffingtonpost)

Also Read: In Pictures: Indian Lesbian Couple Defies Society, Celebrates Love