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Stardust and Inferno: Excerpts from Rohith Vemula’s Online Diary

Rohith Vemula’s diary, published by Juggernaut, is a glimpse into the beliefs and desires of the lost scholar. 

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Rohith Vemula was a 26-year-old PhD scholar at the University of Hyderabad. He committed suicide on 17 January 2016 and left behind a legacy of ideas which unequivocally critique extremist Hindutva ideology, condemns the subjugation of the marginalised and calls out the hypocrisy of a society dominated by the upper caste Hindu man.

Vemula’s writing was edited and put together by Nikhila Henry in ‘Caste Is Not a Rumour: The Online Diary of Rohith Vemula’.

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Rohith Vemula’s diary, published by Juggernaut, is a glimpse into the beliefs and desires of the lost scholar. 
The cover page of ‘Caste is Not a Rumour: The Online Diary of Rohith Vemula’. (Photo Courtesy: Juggernaut Books)

In the book, Henry describes him as a romantic who often spoke of stars and stardust and aspired to write like Carl Sagan, the American astrophysicist and astronomer.

His was the voice to rise above the cacophony, she writes, while aptly titling the first chapter ‘Stardust and Inferno’.

His voice was so clear and shrill that it stood distinct from the others even as it represented so many young lives that live on the fringes of New India.
Nikhila Henry

Here are some excerpts from the book:

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On Love and Life

Even though narratives that emerged in the wake of Vemula’s arrival in the limelight portray him as a larger-than-life revolutionary, at the end of the day, he was a young man trying to make meaning of his existence.

Vemula described himself as a “hopeless romantic” who scribbled lines like:

Some say she has an agenda, like saving the world. How to tell her that I am also a part of the world? Some say she loves everyone. Why am I not everyone?...Every glass of alcohol seems like an elder with an advice I need to decode... Should I be sorry that I didn’t befriend her in this life? Or should I be happy that I got a reason for one more life?

The above lines are from July 2015, around the same time he was thrust headlong into the now infamous conflict with the State.

He too seemingly faced the struggles and anxiety of an average student, grappling with the stress of exams.

I discovered one thing today. I have an exam curse. However I study, I can never write an exam well. I am really sick of this education...I feel like an odd person in this mob.
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Vemula’s Struggle Against the Custodians of Power

Vemula very lucidly expressed what he wished to achieve with his struggle against the State and the custodians of power:

I intend to fight against the symbiosis of cultural chauvinism and communal politics, to popularize subaltern, Dravidian history and to shout sharply radical realism amidst the euphoria of freedom.

He called out to contemporary and future generations:

Protest before they ban protesting too.
Rohith Vemula’s diary, published by Juggernaut, is a glimpse into the beliefs and desires of the lost scholar. 
Rohith Vemula was a member of the Ambedkar Students’ Association. (Photo: The Quint)
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“No Glory in Dying or Killing”

Disillusioned by the rhetoric of war, Vemula condemned the act of killing and said there is nothing glorious about war.

There is no glory in dying or killing. Celebration of war or death has no place in the 21st century. If killing is the only talent we possess, it is a curse.

Sometimes, he is cynical:

We are living the most stupid of times in the human existence...Being kind is better than being correct or being intelligent.
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“Nationalism is a Side-Effect of Imagination”

Vemula’s notion of nationalism involved critiquing it as a Brahmanical construct which excludes Dalits, women, Muslims and anyone who is not an upper caste Hindu man.

Nationalism is nothing but a side effect of imagination. An excuse to accuse others. A reason to celebrate the defeat of the ‘other’ human being...When I speak about my community, I am non-Nationalist. When you speak about Nationalism excluding my community, it is never questioned...The obsession with boundaries and labels is nothing less than a reckless fallacy we carry conceitedly in our minds...The earth itself is nothing but a mote of dust floating in the morning sky...
Rohith Vemula’s diary, published by Juggernaut, is a glimpse into the beliefs and desires of the lost scholar. 
Students protest after Rohith Vemula’s suicide. (Photo: PTI)
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“Don’t Take it Personally, I’m Against All Religions”

An atheist, Vemula openly mocked religion, often drawing flak from several sections of society. But he armed himself with humour against it.

Don’t take my denial of religion personally...I reject all religions, not just yours...Today, when I was treading the paths of Hyderabad city, I was splashed with images of the auspicious festive mood of tomorrow’s ‘Ganesh Chaturthi’. The first thing that puzzled me was the question: When will people start celebrating Superman’s birthday, Spiderman’s birthday or Ironman’s Vijaya Dasami?...Please don’t say I am delusional, I can show you scriptures (to be more specific they can be called Marvel comics though they are scriptures, nevertheless).

The book also draws attention to Vemula’s vehement rejection of religion as a concept, particularly those propagating the Hindutva ideology.

Religion is bullshit...It is the lethal child of imperialistic and megalomaniac ideologies... This smells like saffron shit...The resurrection of the Sanghi-style holocaust!    
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On Caste and the Marginalised

Vemula was extremely vocal about what he called the ‘institutional murder of Dalit students’. All his posts on the subject carried the hashtag #CasteIsNotaRumour.

Vemula wanted “an Ambedkarite revolution which is also socialist”.

In 2013, as Independence Day approached, Vemula commented:

Another independence day just came by to tickle our meagre everyday life...Even after 67 years of Independence, there are class differences and caste discrimination but we should ‘Love our Nation’...

The rights of the marginalised was something Vemula spoke about extensively. He spoke against sexual assault of women as well as the violence that followed the beef-ban in the country and said, “...holiness of cow is nothing but a constructed value”.

Aforesaid thoughts of mine on freedom struggle are not drawn out of ‘sacred’ history books but from the standpoint of depressed sections of Indian society...Not speaking about caste cannot eradicate caste. It just makes discrimination nameless!!! And our activism is not identity politics, it is a struggle for recognition.
Following the Delhi gangrape of Jyoti Singh in 2012, Vemula wrote, “Death might have thought its world safer and more secure than our Nation.”
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The Hope He Left Behind

Rohith Vemula’s diary, published by Juggernaut, is a glimpse into the beliefs and desires of the lost scholar. 
Rohith Vemula. (Photo: Twitter)

Despite the cynicism and dark humour at the expense of society, Vemula often spoke of hope, faith and a better future. He celebrated the human spirit and said:

We are amazing even without worldly accomplishments. Because we are not ordinary.

Acknowledging the obstacles he may have had to brave when he embarked on the path he had chosen, Vemula confessed it was better to have “disturbing dreams” as opposed to having “nothing to dream about”.

Today I sleep and wake up to disturbing dreams, but there were times, I had nothing to dream about. Today, I have hurting memories, I get bad dreams, I bleed blue and I get depressed but back in those days I was indifferent. I was unmoved. I was unloved and untested.

There were moments when Vemula was convinced truth will emerge like “a shining red sun” in the sky.

...truth will come out like a shining RED sun in the BLUE sky and on that day, at that moment, the saffron darkness will have to die. Justice takes time but it will prevail...In the end, everything will make perfect sense. Just have some faith in me.
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(The excerpts are taken from Caste is Not a Rumour: The Online Diary of Rohith Vermula, by Nikhila Henry, published by Juggernaut.)

(At The Quint, we are answerable only to our audience. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member. Because the truth is worth it.)

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Topics:  Muslims   Hindutva   Caste 

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