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The Creative, Still-Patriarchal Raksha Bandhan Revelry This Year

In the midst of strange Raksha Bandhan revelry where men get it all wrong, let’s celebrate sisterhood instead. 

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It is that time of the year again. Come Thursday, men will be seen walking around with a cluster of red, yellow and orange rakhis, with rice precariously hanging off their foreheads as the turmeric dries and gives way. Jokes about how much women gain by way of shagun on this day will be made. On TV, a playful-yet-caring brother will again buy a Celebrations box for his independent but loving sister. Patriarchy-driven micro-capitalism will win the day.

Come Thursday, the rakhi I have sent out will reach my sibling in Florida, 12,000 kilometers away, thanks to Ferns N’ Petals’ aggressive marketing campaign for overseas Raksha Bandhan deliveries.

Women will be seen tying this ‘bond to protect’ on the wrists of lakhs of members of the armed forces, along the borders of our country. Lakhs more will be sent to them by school and university students, with India Post working overtime. With the Home Ministry officially making preparations to send out seven reputed female ministers to different parts of the long Indian border to tie rakhis this year, the political appropriation of this Hindu tradition to further the recent wave of Hindutva nationalism will be hard to miss. The ultimate ‘protector’ figure with his 56-inch chest will sit for hours as little girls and hopeful widows line up to ask for Modi’s promise of protection.

Come Thursday, my accompanying gift will be torn open and the chocolates will be devoured before the delivery person can even leave my sibling’s house.

In the midst of strange  Raksha Bandhan revelry where men get it all wrong, let’s celebrate sisterhood instead. 
Children tie rakhis on Narendra Modi’s wrist on Raksha Bandhan last year; the total count was 5,000 threads. Will he beat that record this year? (Photo courtesy: Twitter/Arun Pandey RSS)
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To be fair, Maharashtra’s BJP should be given credit for shattering the crystallised distinction of gender-specific roles that Raksha Bandhan promotes. Their latest campaign ‘Atal Bandhan’ will see all BJP workers and supporters tying a rakhi to each other – even to locals – as a promise to fulfil the dreams of Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Chief Minister Devendra Fadnavis. It’s a separate matter how these campaigns subtly appropriate a popular theme of Hinduism, and attach it to gendered patriotism; to that I say – one problem at a time.

Come Thursday, I will think of all my brothers who didn’t stay in touch, brothers who became surprisingly patronising husbands to their wives and brothers who I never got along with.

Come Thursday, the Delhi Transport Corporation will let women travel for free through the day, almost as an apology for every bus driver, conductor and man who has dared to misbehave with a woman within their infrastructure and has gotten away with it for the rest of the year. An all-female help desk at Manesar will become functional starting this Thursday, magnanimously ‘gifted’ by the Haryana Police to the perpetually terror-stricken women of Gurugram on the occasion of Raksha Bandhan, having deemed the days before and after as not being auspicious enough to do something about the daily occurrences of rape, gangrape and general terror against women.

Gwalior district police, after facing death threats for cancelling gun licenses for not having compulsory toilets under the Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan, are prepping capable female panchayat employees and health workers as human shields! Come Thursday, these women will leave their qualifications and work behind, and approach goons with rakhis as the vulnerable women they are expected to be, asking them to build toilets in return as their gift.

Come Thursday, I will think of all the men who on other days scan you with their eyes while you do something as innocuous as buying eggs; but today, they all take shallow pride in protecting their behenas.

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With this range of innovative appropriation of Raksha Bandhan, which only make the obviously sexist festival even more distasteful, I propose a celebration of sisterhood this Thursday. I propose tying rakhis to all women dear to you, around you: a best friend, a sister or five, your mother, a mentor at work or a neighbourhood aunty who looks out for you.

To me, it is the ultimate resistance against an all-pervasive institution that requires women to pull other women down without conscious thought: body shaming, mothers putting their daughters through female genital cutting, women in families, residential societies and entire villages disowning rape survivors for losing her ‘honour’ – the list is endless.

After all, it was a loyal girlfriend of mine who taught me how to get rid of a boy who made me uncomfortable; the next day, she bought a rakhi to school and off I went to bhaizone him. It was another girlfriend who silently stayed on mute during a conference call after giving me the courage to call an abusive ex-partner out and end our relationship. It was my sister who stayed on the phone for hours each time I was knocked down to my knees by life. And it’s always been my mother.

In the midst of strange  Raksha Bandhan revelry where men get it all wrong, let’s celebrate sisterhood instead. 
(Photo courtesy: Pallavi Prasad)

Come Thursday, my rakhi will have travelled more than 12,000 kilometres to reach the only person I have celebrated this tradition with for more than two decades: my elder sister. My mother would say the same thing each year: “You are all each other are going to have. No boy or cousin will protect you the way your sister will.” Then, it was simply something she said to make us stop fighting over who got the better gift. Twenty years since, these are the words of a woman who knew better.

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Topics:  Patriarchy   Raksha Bandhan 

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